The Mind and Self Awareness

Fixation

Some people fixate on other people even when the other person deliberately makes it very clear that they don't want the fixator around. I've done it, you've probably done it. Obsessed over an ex who dumped you, kept tabs on old friends who weren't interested anymore. I think that there's a reason for that. 

The first reason is the main reason I fixate on certain people. Abandonment issues. I have major league attachment and abandonment issues due to how I grew up. and this causes me to get slightly obsessive because I don't want to be abandoned again. This has eased up since I got in a long term relationship and found religion, and since then I've learned to enjoy my own company and that I'm decent people so treating myself well is a good thing.

The second is a reason similar to, but fundamentally different than the first. It's another kind of self-hatred complex, but instead of it manifesting like mine where I want people around me to help me rise up beyond my previous hurt, this person ultimately drags everyone down into the darkness they will never free themselves from. These people try to take on the traits of those in the light without feeling it inside, and so wind up exaggerating these characteristics. People in the light tend to see these people for what they are, but if this person finds someone else in the dark, they imitate the light so well that it draws people who see the over projection and can sense their pain, and then while the second person tries to pull them both toward the light, the first person rips them to shreds and sucks out their energy, all while keeping the person hooked in the relationship. This is a two-way fixation at times. The second person wants so desperately to save the first, that when they're discarded, it affects them very personally, and until that person understands you can't save everyone, they'll think borderline constantly about the first. The first person also likes watching people struggle, they get kicks out of tearing others down and discarding them back to the depths of darkness deeper than where they were, and if you keep getting back up, they'll fixate harder. Even if you don't, sometimes they stop in to get a high off of the second's excitement to see them and their pain.

Then there's the fixation of really bad parents on their children. Their favoritism is superbly obvious, but they deny it every time it's brought up. If the kid they didn't like either takes a direction other than the one the parent intended, or goes that way but gets extremely successful, the parent does whatever they can to rip that child down. They often obsess, talking about what a piece of shit that kid is, referring to them as traitors, etc.

That's all I can think of right now. If I think of more, I'll make a part 2.