The Voices

Entry 2

This next entry I want to talk about my dad. After my mom was killed, my dad tried to put on this false "everything is going to be fine" face and I knew he was falling apart inside. It started with me noticing he started taking pills and coming home after work smelling like alcohol. I knew he was getting increasingly upset about my mom and he also thought it was his fault. Sometimes when he looked at me he would smile and say "it's ok honey she's in a better place now" and a single tear would drop down his face.

It worried me looking at him like this. I was afraid he was going to lose his mind if he didn't stop drinking. Sometimes he would also come home completely wasted.

"Dad, have you been drinking again?" I would ask him.

"No sweetie I don't drink. I've told you this already." He would say as he would almost fall trying to get into the door. One time he even fell and his eyes were really glassy looking when he came in. All I did was watch him stumble to his room and shut the door. I didn't know what to do.

I often went to my room and cried about it. I know that's a really baby-ish thing to do, but it's the only thing I could thing to do. That's why I started writing these entries, in hopes it would make me feel better. It has made me feel a lot better. My Psychiatrist and I found the idea of keeping a journal from Diary of a Wimpy Kid. At first I thought it was stupid, but then I started to think; maybe it is a good idea to start a journal. A lot of people say it helps them cope with a lot of stuff, so why not? Anyways I'm gonna get going I'll continue this sometime today or tomorrow. Bye.

Emma