A Silenced Gift

Chapter 6

© 2017 D.S. Little
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the author, except as permitted by U.S. Copyright law.
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Jaren

It had been two weeks since we learned what was going on with Fatima and I was stressed all the way out. On one hand I understood why she was holding on, that was her! She was always thinking about everybody else over herself. On the other hand she acted different around me ever since I had mentioned we should consider the option of terminating the pregnancy and having the surgery.

Did I want to lose my baby? Hell no! I loved him just as much as she did! And the thought alone kept bringing me close to tears. What was the alternative? Watching Fatima in so much pain that she couldn't even get a decent night's sleep? She wasn't eating or drinking well because she could barely hold anything down. She had lost a lot of weight and even her skin was beginning to feel different.

I understood my baby was a fighter, but I didn't realize that she was that strong! It killed me to see her in that much pain, so if I had to choose, I wanted to do what was best for her! Point blank, period.

Since that conversation, things between us had been strained. I tried to be there for her in whatever way she let me, but it wasn't much. It was like she was blaming me for the situation and pushing me away at the same time. She preferred more and more for our mothers to lay with her than me and that shit cut deep because I already couldn't do much else to help in the situation.

One night we got into an argument so bad that my mom made me go sleep in another room. Then she told me to give Fatima some space, trying to explain that she wasn't thinking clearly and that her hormones were all over the place on top of the danger that the baby was in. She encouraged me to try and go back into the studio and work on my music. Ironically, it was the thing Fatima kept snapping at me to go do whenever we argued. It was like she didn't want me around anymore.

Over the time I had been home with her, I had missed a few performances and some studio sessions but being with her was more important to me than any of that. So I decided to take my mom's advice and had Joel make arrangements for me to catch up on the sessions I had missed while dealing with the pregnancy complications.

I still had not made a statement to confirm or deny her pregnancy and the story eventually died down. I wanted to run through that entire hospital and find out who leaked our business to the blogs. I swear people didn't know how to mind their business and would do anything for a quick buck!

I was in Harlem in the middle of a studio session with Pia Francis, an R&B singer who up to that point had only seen lukewarm success. She had the look and the sound, but needed that one hit to shoot her towards the direction and status of Rihanna, which seemed who she was trying to pattern her career after.

I had written my verse for her track over a month ago when they first approached me about collaborating with her. They sent over the track at the same time and I sent my lyrics back and like most of the other R&B songs I did lately, it was about sex.

Out of all the songs though, this one was by far the most sexual. It had a female version of Trey Songz vibe to it. I had my team with me and we all watched her in the booth as she sang her parts. Feeling the stress of everything around me I lit a blunt I had been holding on to, and mindlessly watched her do her thing. Even though she was killing it, my mind was miles away at home with Fatima. I just couldn't stop worrying about her and the baby. Maybe coming into the studio was not a good idea. I thought to myself. I didn't fully feel like my normal creative, hungry self. I was just going through the motions and physically present.