early in the morning • zayn malik

→ water caressing feet ←

→ water caressing feet  ←

Zayn had been expecting her to come. He didn’t look around when he heard the dull thud of her footsteps approaching him, and just stared into the stormy sea, a light mist settling on every part of him, some droplets even settling on his long eyelashes.

The weather was representing his dismal mood, and escaping to the beach seemed like the only way to get away from the house, away from everything that had been haunting him, especially Perrie.

He thought of her during the day, and even more he thought of that day, even though he had been working so hard not to think at all. She invaded his thoughts and made him vomit during the day, and cry at night.

Almost unwilling, Zayn had begun to hate her.

Begun to hate her, her, her.

Harry hadn’t come to his place in two weeks, and he was missing the human interaction, and the ability to just talk to somebody whenever he wanted to, instead of waiting for Bryony to come in the mornings.

Not that he didn’t love Bryony arriving at his gate, smelling his now blooming lupins, but he needed to have her around all the time, so he could stare into her eyes and listen to her joyful voice that never could fail to bring a smile to his face.

“Thought I’d find you down here.” Bryony said, sitting close to Zayn, fingers accidentally touching as she shuffled to find a comfortable position in the slightly wet sand.

He shrugged. “The house seemed too...” He struggled to find the right words, not knowing exactly how to describe it.

“Claustrophobic?”  Bryony supplied, and Zayn smiled, nodding.

“Exactly.”  Zayn said, turning to face her, his inky black hair flying into his eyes due to the strong sea breeze. “What are you doing here?”

She smiled widely, and looked down at her lap, shrugging her shoulders. “I wanted to come see you.”

“Not many people want to see me, you know?” Zayn said, chuckling darkly. “I moved out here to get away from everyone- well, more accurately everything - but I think I was kind of expecting someone to chase after me.”

Someone to chase after me, me, me.

Zayn scoffed, and looked out towards the sea again. “How stupid I was.” He said softly, grabbing a fistful of sand in his hand. “How very stupid.”

“They’re the ones missing out.” Bryony replied after a long pause, grabbing his hand with one hand before encompassing it with the other.

Zayn looked at her, his chest feeling like it was expanding and contracting at the same time, and his dry lips parted slightly, looking at the beautiful girl in front of him who managed to understand him when he barely understood himself.

“Come on, let’s go stand in the water.”  Bryony said, standing up, still holding his left hand in her right one, using her left one to lift herself up.

He followed her, his bare feet sinking into the sand. The waves were crashing angrily against the shore, white water being the only thing Zayn could see for a couple hundred metres. With water caressing feet, they waded in until the water was just below their knees.

“I looked you up on the internet.” Bryony said loudly, to be heard above the dull roar of the crashing of the waves.

He raised an eyebrow at her, smirking slightly. “Really?”

She rolled her eyes. “I knew that I’d seen you before, but I could just never pinpoint it...”  Bryony faded off, and looked at him thoughtfully.

Zayn turned to face her, so that he was parallel to the sea. “That person... I’m not him anymore.” He rasped, sadness filling him. “I can’t even try to be him again, because that Zayn Malik was happy, he was successful, his friends didn’t hate him-”

Heaving in tight breaths, he stopped talking, hanging his head as tears begun to well in his hazel eyes. He didn’t want to deal with this anymore; he didn’t want to deal with the guilt that accompanied him everywhere he went. How sick he was of everything.

How sick he was of everything, everything, everything.

“Zayn, Zayn.” Bryony murmured, letting go of his hand to tilt his head back up to meet hers. “That Zayn won’t be able to exist anymore, you’re right there. But you can’t live your life continually trying to be him, because who you are right now is who you were destined to become.”

“How could you know that?” Zayn croaked, wiping his eyes, body shaking. “How?”

Bryony took a step closer to him, cupping his face in her hands, her green-blue, blue-green eyes (he would never be able to tell which one they were) wide with determination and sorrow. “Because,” She said quietly. “I just do.”

“So I am destined to be unhappy?” Zayn said, slightly indignant, though finding that his heart was starting to beat a little faster in his chest.

Bryony’s hands fell from his face and once again were in his hands. “No, I don’t think that.” She said softly.

“What do you think, then?” Zayn whispered fervently.

“That you deserve so much more than what you were given, much, much more.” She said, tears starting to form in her own eyes, one tear traitorously falling onto her smooth cheek.

Zayn smiled gently, forgetting his own problems the moment he saw the tear, and he wiped it away. “Hey, there’s no need to cry over me.”

Bryony laughed, shaking her head. “This is your fault.”

Zayn laughed too, his eyes crinkling slightly. “So we’re playing the blame game, are we?”

“Yep.” She said, eyes shining, but this time not with tears, but with something that only made Zayn’s smile grow larger.

“You know I really don’t get you sometimes.” Zayn said, his voice going quiet as he examined her with a keen eye.

“Don’t worry, I don’t either.” Bryony whispered, their bodies closer than they had been a couple of seconds ago.

Leaning in, he kissed her, feeling her hands tighten their hold on his, her eyelashes brushing against his cheek. He felt things, he felt absolutely and positively alive, like a fire had been lit in chest, but had been let to grow out of control.

With Zayn’s lips against Bryony’s, he felt for a small moment that he wasn’t destined to be unhappy, he wasn’t  destined to forever be Perrie’s fiancée, he wasn’t destined to be that member of One Direction who couldn’t live his life.

No, he wasn’t going to let himself.

And she wasn’t going to let him too, too, too.

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this chapter made me emotionally unstable (and so did the annoucement of Ed's new album coming out, but that's a different story)

chapter is dedicated to @sadhaz for her awesome comment, thank you :D xxx

hopefully next time I won't take as long to update haha

tell me what you guys think, and, uh, yeah

Sara xx