early in the morning • zayn malik

→ in the dark past ←

→ in the dark past ←

Zayn sat down at the table, watching Harry happily eating his food. He ate it with a vigour that ultimately brought a large smile to Zayn’s face. Ever since Louis had called, Harry had been so much more cheerful, so content with life. He even convinced Zayn to take walks with him in the mornings, and was starting to plan out his life again.

Zayn wished that he had the same amount of optimism as Harry did, but he knew that happiness would be a while away. But he was content at the moment, especially having Harry back at his place. He had considered asking Harry to move in with him permanently, but wasn’t too sure if Harry wanted to be held down like that.

He swallowed, pushing his messy black hair away from his face. “Harry?”

Harry paused from his eating, and then sent Zayn a smile. “Yeah?”

Zayn started to rub the back of his neck, feeling nervous. “I was just...”

“Zayn, spit it out.” Harry said amusedly, putting his knife and fork down. “Don’t act like I’m your crush or something. Unless I am, which would be incredibly awkward for you, because I’m a hundred percent sure I’m into girls.”

“No, no, definitely not.” Zayn said quickly, chuckling slightly. “No, I wanted to ask if you actually wanted to come live here, like be an actual member of this house.”

Harry looked shocked, staring at him for a while. “Really?” He asked softly.

Zayn smiled gently. “Really.”

A grin suddenly came to his face. “Well, I’d love to live with you, Zayn Malik.”

Zayn laughed. “Good. And don’t worry about any rent; I’ve got it, alright?”

Harry looked ready to protest, but his attention was caught by something over Zayn’s shoulder, a smug look coming onto his face. “Bryony’s here.”

“Crap!” Zayn said, springing up from his chair and running into the bathroom, quickly spraying deodorant around him, simultaneously checking his hair in the mirror at the same time. He saw Harry leaning on the frame of the doorway of the bathroom, eyebrows raised.

“Man, you’re going to create another hole in the ozone layer.” Harry said, making Zayn stop his deodorant spraying and turn red with embarrassment.

The doorbell rang, and Zayn felt a goofy smile come onto his face. “Should get the door.” He mumbled, pushing past Harry.

He opened the door, and saw Bryony standing there, looking beautiful in the mid-morning light. Not even bothering to see if Harry was looking, Zayn stepped toward her and cupped her face in his hands before kissing her sweetly, suddenly feeling a million times better.

“Well hello.” Bryony whispered, her green-blue, blue-green eyes shining. “Eager to see me?”

“Always.” Zayn breathed, brushing his nose against hers, making her laugh breathily.

“Can I come in or we just going to kiss in the doorway?” Bryony mumbled, looking at him through her eyelashes.

Zayn clumsily reached for her hand, feeling embarrassed. “Right, yeah.”

He led her in, and saw Harry finishing his food, apparently not noticing what the pair had been doing. Zayn cleared his throat, and Harry turned around, Zayn noticing the extremely smug look on his face.

“Oh, Bryony! I didn’t notice Zayn and you making out in the doorway.” Harry said cheerily, dimples appearing in his cheeks as he grinned.

“Always nice to see you, Harry.” Bryony said, smirking, whilst Zayn stood there, gaping at Harry in horror.

“Ok, we’re going in my room.” Zayn muttered, dragging Bryony with him.

Zayn shut the door closed behind him, sighing. Bryony was walking around his room, looking at the drawings that he had pinned up on the walls, and some photographs, especially of him with the boys.

Bryony was staring intensely at a photo, and Zayn came up behind her, hugging her from behind, placing his head on her shoulder. “Which one you looking at?” He asked.

Bryony pointed at the only photo of Perrie and him, one only a month before the wedding. “She’s so beautiful.” Bryony said quietly.

Zayn sighed, placing a kiss to her neck. “She was.” He agreed. “She is, in fact. But she’s beyond broken. Broken implies that it can get better, and with her, there’s no chance.”

“We don’t need to talk about her.” Bryony said, holding his hands, leaning back into him.

“I want to tell you, though.” Zayn said, carefully turning her around to face him. “I think you need to know.”

They sat down together on the bed, Bryony looking serious. Zayn didn’t feel as scared as he thought he was, only feeling deeply calm instead. All that had happened with Perrie... It would always hurt; it would always be a permanent dark stain on his heart.

“I loved her as much as she loved me.” Zayn started, grabbing Bryony’s hand, tracing patterns on her hand with his thumb. “She understood me; she always listened when I wanted to talk. Both of us being in a band meant we didn’t see each other a lot, but when we were together...”

Zayn paused, looking at Bryony, wondering what she was thinking. She was looking down at their intertwined hands, and he squeezed hers tightly, making her look up at him. She looked sad, but there was that something else in her eyes that made him know that she wasn’t jealous, or thinking of running out.

“At the wedding,” Zayn said softly. “I was nervous, but I felt like it was the right thing to do, that marrying her would make me the happiest person alive. And I saw her walking down the aisle, I didn’t even realise how she was shaking, her eyes darting around.”

Zayn closed his eyes for a moment, letting a shaky breath escape from his lips. “Then Felicite, Louis’ sister, stood up because she was going to take a picture with her phone and then-”

Bryony wrapped her arm around his shoulders, and he felt tears spring to his eyes. “Zayn, it’s ok.” She said quietly.

“Perrie lost it.” Zayn sobbed. “She had a gun... she had a fucking gun... She shot Felicite, and she was screaming, she was threatening people, god she was just so crazy, and I was so scared, I was terrified.”

“Then she was screaming that she loved me, that she wanted to be with me, and then Felicite was on the floor, dead, and Louis was crying his eyes out and everything was a blur. Then the police were there and she was getting dragged away and she was yelling at me-”

“Zayn, Zayn, shh.” Bryony said, taking Zayn into her arms, letting him cry into her shoulder.

Zayn cried as he let the memories he had worked so hard to suppress drowned him, the only light in the darkness being Bryony, who didn’t let him go, even when the darkness fell and once again swallowed them whole.

Darkness fell and once again swallowed them whole, whole, whole.

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wow wow wow quickest update ever hahaha

idek what to say hahaha ummm dedication goes to @-arcticmoankeys bc she seems really nice o_o

love you all :') 

Sara xx