True Feelings

Him

He's different now. He's changed. I don't know why but I have my suspicions. Maybe it was because of what I said that day in the classroom, the name I should've kept to myself. Maybe it's because of her, the no name girl who he waits for everyday. Our friendship is wavering, hanging by a thread and I want to cut it to avoid the snap.

When he walks pass me without so much as a hi I feel invisible. When he avoids me in the hall I feel like a nobody. I was foolish to think that what we had would last. We clicked so well it was too good to be true, now it's like we're back to the beginning before I knew his favorite color, or had his number in my phone. He became my first though in the morning and my last one at night. I craved the smile on his lips, the sound of his voice, the soft touch of his hands and the lines by eyes whenever he laughed. 

I don't know how important I was to him then but I know how important I am to him now. He was my happiness, the reason behind my smile. But now.....now he's the reason for the hollow feeling inside me. I'm not blaming him, he's done nothing wrong. It's my fault, I should have put forth more effort into our friendship, I should have said hi to him in the hallway when I would walk pass, I shouldn't have said that name.

I see him with his friends and I miss the way we use to be. I miss the way our fingers would entwine, the way he looked at me when he thought I was being foolish, his efforts to make me laugh, his smile. That damn smile. I want to go back to the way things were before but it's too late, he's moved on and now I have to too.