I get myself up and start packing my clothes
"W-What are you doing?" Zach asked tears falling down his cheeks
"Leaving, Zach."
" B-But wait , don't do this to me please I don't wanna be alone. I know I need to make up my mind but I need you here with me"
I sighed
" Zach I can't just pretend like nothing is happening and you don't feel anything for Jesse because you do, I told you it's not a problem for me if you're bisexual and I 100% support you with your sexuality, but having feelings for your band mate and giving him your love right in front of me ? And using me as your cover ? I'm not supporting you with that. If you want to be with Jesse it's okay , I'll get over it someday but now I just need to get you out of my life and get myself out of yours"
" S- So this is it? You're breaking up with me and leaving me all alone?" Zach whispered still crying
"don't act like you're the one who's the most messed up, because it's not like that and you know it. Stop playing the fucking victim card Zachary" I said slowly raising my tone
" I'm sorry I just don't want you to leave I need you here"
"You have Jesse for that matter" I said with tears in my eyes
" I don't want Jesse, I want you"
"Don't you fucking act like he doesn't mean shit to you, your feelings are more powerful for him that will ever be dor me " I said crumbling on the floor , I couldn't help that I was a hurt weak ass ,he gave everything to Jesse right in front of me
" Don't cry baby , please I will take care of you and prove you that I love you if you stay" he said coming towards me and running his hand through my hair
" Zach I'm leaving , there's nothing you can do about it " I said and stood up taking my suitcase and walking away from our bedroom , Jesse was still there and he saw me rushing to reach the front door, I put my shoes and my jacket on and I was ready to leave
" Peach , what happened , where are you going ?" I heard Jesse's raspy voice asking in confusion
Zach came along and looked straight into my eyes
He looked broken . But I wasn't gonna let myself weaken by his eyes filled with tears
" I hope you two are happy together, I really do , you're both amazing and deserve to be happy , take care and love each other guys yeah?" I was trying to smile while crying . I really don't hate either of them , I'm not God so I can't control their feelings for each other , this is fate , I have to accept it and move on.
I got out of the door and started walking to my old apartament , tears stopped now but the sadness and dissapointment didn't.
A part of me hoped Zach will come after me and try to convince me to stay but that was just in my head I wouldn't stay anyway , would I?
Zach POV
"Zach what the fuck happened ?" I hear Jesse asking angry
" I just - She fucking noticed I still have feelings for you Jesse, I ruined her , I fucked everything up , I deserve to fucking die , I hurt her , I ruined her dude "
" Zachary... you should know that we can't be a thing anymore , I still have feelings for you too but I just can't, too much pressure was put on us when we were a couple , that's what ruined our relationship, she is the one for you and you fucked it up , man"
Jesse was right and I fucking knew it , it was pointless in having feelings for him if our relationship will not happen again , but I couldn't help myself.
"Can you just kiss me ?" I said with tears in my eyes
"Zach we're not restarting." Jesse stood up
" I wish we could" I sighed
"I know babe but we just can't"
I felt my face burning when he called me "babe" it reminds me of the days we were holding hands and we were so in love .
" Do you want something to drink?" I asked
" Noah man I'm good , I'm actually leaving but take care"
" Jesse, no, please , not you too, please stay with me tonight , I miss you, please " I begged
He looked straight to me and his crystal eyes weren't shining anymore , he looked devastated, he looked at me with mercy now.
" Okay I'm staying with you , I can't leave you alone in this state" he sit down and gave me a hug
" I'm gonna get something to drink, be right back" I said while getting up and going towards the kitchen
I got out some Vodka and beer out of the fridge
I drank 6 galsses of Vodka and half a beer in the kitchen so Jesse wouldn't notice and be overprotective
I went back and took a seat on the sofa next to Jesse, I knew I wasn't sober anymore but I still faked my normal behavior .
I drank too much and anyone could tell that.
" Jesse I miss my girl so fucking much " I started crying putting my head in his lap
But he didn't reply because he fell asleep. He looked like an angel when he was sleeping .
I could just kiss him right now...
