Denmark X Abused! Reader - Secrets

6. Deteriorate

Guys I swear I'll upload for other books soon, but for now, all I've got is this. I want to try and get an upload schedule sorted, but knowing me, I probably won't be able to uphold it. I've uploaded two things today, and I'll write more tomorrow, so enjoy for now. Thank you for being so patient with me T-T

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(F/N) broke down as soon as she reached an empty hallways away from Mathias, and anyone else. She covered her mouth to hold in her sobs and quickly wiped her eyes of any tears that spilt down her face. He knew, and she was scared about that he would do next. She'd managed to keep it under covers this entire time, throughout their whole friendship, yet now that all the previous events had unfolded, the covers had been lifted and (F/N)'s situation had been revealed. And worst of all was her feelings for the Dane had remained unchanged. Her heartbeat still sped up whenever she caught a glimpse of him. She still longed to be with him, and talk to him for days on end, but he'd hurt her badly, and she'd already told him to stay away from her.

Part of her wanted to be free of the pain of love.  She could stop loving Mathias entirely, forgot that he'd ever neglected her and not feel saddened every time she looked in his general direction, but she knew that was only part of her. The other part of her wanted to forgive him for everything he'd done and continue to love him forever. Continue to listen to his stupid jokes and laugh along with him and forget that this ever happened to their friendship. She was torn; she was broken.

(F/N) took a deep breath, wiped her eyes once more and head back to her classroom. It wasn't long before she was free of this hell, only to enter another just as worse. She'd have to endure this ages before finally being free... She sighed a pained sigh as she sat down in her desk, yet again aware of the eyes that would likely stare at her for the rest of the lesson. Again, she was unsure on whether she wanted him to give up and continue in his efforts to get her back, she couldn't chose. She gently laid her head down on the desk, letting her tired eyes close for a while; she could care less about lessons now. She let herself indulge in some well needed sleep.

Meanwhile, Mathias had, yet again, been watching (F/N) throughout the entirety of the class. He was worried if she continued to doze of in class, the teacher would resort to something other than shouting at her. Mathias felt discouraged for a short while after being told by (F/N), yet again, to stay away, and that she was completely used to the pain she went through, yet he hadn't lost heart yet. It saddened him every time he thought of her words, making him think of all the pain she must have endured as a small child while he had a happy life with his caring family, yet that only spurred him further to help her. He was going to get her to forgive him, no matter what he had to do to do it.

He saw as (F/N) was woken up by the teacher, and he heard a few of the class snicker, including his girlfriend—ex-girlfriend—but he couldn't care less about what she thought. She was in the past. (F/N) once again, sat upright, but Mathias could see that the teacher was still unhappy as he noted something down on a piece of paper. The rest of the lesson continued, and Mathias saw (F/N)'s head occasionally dip down drowsily, only to swiftly rise back up to stop herself from falling asleep. She was very tired, and Mathias would've found her nodding-off adorable had it not have been saddening. She was tired because of him, her family and general stress. There was no time to be thinking about thinks such as 'how adorable (F/N) looked'.

That thought made him freeze in his tracks. The pen he'd nervously been tapping on the desk for the past half an hour of the lesson ceased to do so anymore, and he slowly placed it down instead. Did he just call her adorable? Sure friends did that to each other a lot, but that wasn't the kind of friendship they had; instead they playfully insulted each other, using words like 'idiot', or one of her favourites 'dork'. So why now, at the most inappropriate time, did he suddenly think she was cute.