𝑶𝒂𝒌 𝑻𝒓𝒆𝒆 ✔️

II. Baby

Year: 2016

Cam didn't really feel anything when she first heard the news in the middle of a thunderstorm where the lights were flickering on and off and off and on. But she knew she should be crying and her hands should be shaking and on the right side of her hospital bed was Harry with full green eyes and no dimples with tears leaking out.

It was really just a big mess.

And that was the last day Cam held a camera and the day before that was the last she held a Polaroid because today was just a big mess with tears and shaky hands with no dimples with Cam just staring at the doctors.

It was just a big mess.

Everyone was there but no one that she needed so she just held on to the strength she somehow seemed to carry on for the last couple years.

And it was just a big mess because the light kept flicking on and off and she kept hearing sniffling and crying and she felt so selfish for not doing anything but staring.

"You're going to be okay," she kept hearing but she knew that just meant that she wasn't and anytime when she heard those words it was just sign where it was just about to get worse.

So she stared and stared with the lights flickering on and off with Harry sniffling and his red face with no dimples which was replaced with tears weren't really helping so when she yelled at him to be quiet and for everyone else to be quiet they all stared at her, ready for the tears and the shaky hands.

"Please just... please be quiet." And she really didn't want to cry and she didn't-well at least not at that moment.

She didn't want to be in this predicament where she was in a hospital bed with pale skin with her black curly hair sticking to her sweaty skin and all she wanted to do was take pictures out in the spring where the snow was just melting and the leaves were growing and although it wasn't her favourite season and she had to where gloves even though she hated them when she was taking pictures.

"Do you want to hold her?"

And she didn't know what to say because the lights were flickering on and off and everyone kept talking and she was in a hospital bed with her black curly hair sticking to her sweaty skin.

She only looked at Harry who was already nodding his head yes as the doctor gave them the five pound baby girl with pale skin and little brown flecks of hairs. And she only blinked once and you could tell her eyes were green with a hint of grey before they permanently stayed closed.

"Hi baby," she cooed to her dying infant that only had a few minutes before she let out her last dying breath. And she really didn't want to cry especially with everyone around her murmuring and talking with the lights flickering on and off because of the thunderstorm.

But when she felt the small heart beat getting slower and slower was the more she cried and the more Cam cried the more Harry cried because in the back of his mind it was always Cam Cam Cam despite his first one night he had when he was drunk a couple months back when they had their nth fight she was always in his mind and she was always his butterfly.

And now he had to let go of his angel.

"I-I'm so sorry I was such a shitty mom," she laughed but through her laugh was a sob that escaped her moist lips and the more her heart started to slow was the more she cried.

It was really just a big mess.

"I-I didn't take care of you the way I should've... I-I-" and she could only stare at her precious jewel that was in her stomach for nine months whom kicked her stomach through the day but mostly at nights on the bed that was made for two.