Lost and in love

Chapter 3: Can it get any worse?

1 month later...

It's 7am on Thursday and i wake up to the familiar throbbing on my wrists. I decide to lay in my bed for a little while and think about my life so far. I wish i didn't go through this, what have i done to deserve this?

I am starting to let my anger out on my family and friends. Those bullies are changing me and i'm not happy. I can't tell anyone about this because than they'll just pity me and I can handle this fine on my own. The worst thing is i'm starting believe everything those bullies are saying i wish i could just run away.

I've started doing something I thought I'll never do and I've begun cutting first very shallow cuts but their starting to get deeper the more I do it. I don't care about pain cause the pain in my heart is the only thing I can feel now. Actually I can feel the pain in my heart again and I think I might do it again I grab the knife I've been hiding under my pillow and move it across my wrist until its deeper than it was before and bleeding. I wash it for a bit than wrap it in a bandage, its stinging a lot and I regret cutting it but what do I do to get rid of my heartache. I have no reason to live and my smile only hides my pain.

I wish I could be happy again but I can't and I wish I was sick because illnesses can be healed with medicines and doctors but I don't know where I can get help.

I haven't been to school for a month because I've been pretending to be sick. My mum is worried and she's booked a doctor's appointment for tomorrow (Friday). I've been wearing long sleeves to hide the cuts so she won't notice them which is making her more worried since it's the middle of summer. If mum thinks doctors will heal this than let her because I don't want her to feel my pain.

I am really tired and eventually I fall asleep....

It's the day of my appointment I decide to curl my hair on the ends and wear jeans with a tank top and a black jacket to hide the cuts. I also pick out a pair of black flats to go with the outfit, I go downstairs for breakfast and see mum making my favorite food French toast. I quickly give her a hug and slide on to a seat while she slips me a plate of French toast and orange juice. She has been acting more caring now because shes worried about me. We wash the dishes and get into the car to drive to the doctors and spend the time in silence.

We get there and sit in the waiting room to wait for my turn as I'm flicking through my songs on my ipod when a guys walks in and gosh he's cute. He's walking towards me I mean who would even want to talk to me? Especially a guy...

Do you's think things will become better for Kate. This book is raise bullying awareness so please support it.

Tilda xx