The Good Girl's Diary

Fly, fly away.

August 21

Bedroom

These last few days have been like a whirlwind of emotion. Honestly writing would have probably straightened out some of my feelings, but I just couldn't. I've been packing and crying and packing and crying. I can't decider nerves and excitement. Some days I don't even want to leave, and others I can't wait to step foot in NYC. Parker hasn't been much help. She's been pretty short with me since I told her the news, and I can't imagine that this party will be much fun. Today was one of the days that I just wanted to be out of this suffocating town, but instead I was going to be the center of attention at a party dedicated to my leaving.

Were they happy that I was going?

I had always assumed they Parker had a thing for Liam, but then again, Parker has a thing for every guy at our school. Today was going to be a good day. Tomorrow was going to be a good day. I could do this.

Uber on the way to the airport

I honestly don't know what in the world is going on I'm Parker's mind. She made me into the butt end of a joke the entire party. She went on and on about how she wasn't sure how I could make it in NYC when I could barely make it here.

"I mean you're so sheltered, Phoebe," she laughed, "you should have at least gone to one party with me before jet setting of to Manhattan." I faked a smile. "What do you think Liam?" She said rubbing his arm. I made a horrified face. "Uh, I mean you're a very good girl," Liam started. "And?" I asked. Liam continued, "I just think you're going to receive a little bit of culture shock."

I suffered through the rest of the party, until finally we had to be at the Nashville International Airport. Parker offered to give us a ride, but I had the audacity  decline. I seriously couldn't take another second with her right now.  Uber is a literal gift.

Nashville International Airport

We are sitting in the Nashville International Airport getting ready to board the plane. My brother, mom, and I have been exchanging awkward glances for the past hour. None of us have been too certain about what to speak about. I honestly think that my mother is a split second away from crying. Every subject was a sensitive one. At least she was coming with us.

"You want some coffee?" My mom asked. I lifted my head up, "Yeah sure," I attempted to give a sincere smile. "What about you Nathan?" He just shook his head completely enthralled into whatever Netflix show he was watching.

"Look, I honestly don't care if you have to send a private helicopter," a young guy yelled into his phone, "I just want out of this redneck city!" I looked over at him. He was immensely intimidating. He stood well over six feet with black hair that he slicked back to avoid needing a regular trim. His eyes were sparkling blue that contrasted with his slightly olive tinted skin. He would have been jaw droppingly attractive if it weren't for his rude New York accented yelling. "I am about to fly in coach because no one reserved me a ticket so I had to get whatever was left. Guess what was left? A crappy seat where I'll probably be surrounded by toddlers and obesity." By this time everyone was looking at the entitled jerk. He didn't look that much older than me. He had a clean shaven face and youthful features, but his demeanor was so different. He wore a suit and stood tall like he was well into adulthood. I realized I was staring after he darted a look at me. "I've got to go," he said into his phone, "I'm making a scene. Just know when I get to Manhattan everyone who was supposed to ensure I got back yesterday via first class is going to get an earful of words that aren't appropriate to say in the public area I'm in now." He grabbed his latte and stepped past the crowded line. "That was rude," my mom said stating the obvious. "Yeah," I was still staring at him.

August 22

Penthouse bedroom

School started today, but my parents decided it would be best if I stayed home a - well not home - I guess my new home? For the rest of the school year I guess.

When we stepped off of the plane my mind was going a mile a minute. First of all, I was trying to figure out if I even enjoyed this place. I tore through my mind of expectations including a young girl standing outside of Tiffany's, socialite divas on the steps of the Met, naive girls interning at cut through magazines, and all of the glamour that entangled it all.

The only problem is that when I stepped off of the plane all I recognized was a grimy hot city full of trash and desperation. Granted, we were just stepping out of Laguardia Airport, and the only view recognizable was the back end of a dozen taxi cabs.

The further we ventured toward Manhattan, the more the beauty of the city came together. Leonardo (our birth dad) sent a town car to take us to the Hotel on 5th Ave. The city was beautiful. It was beautiful enough to transpose itself over the crappy few days I had been used to and create some sort of alternate reality. In a reality of beginnings where I was going to take NYC by the reigns and jump right in. I was already in love with my new home.

"So, how do you like the city?" Our driver asked in a thick Indian accent. "It's amazing," I said starry eyed. "Yeah it's cool,"  Nathan was equally enthralled. My mom was simply starring at us. It was impossible to read her emotions. "That is good," he pulled up to a grand white hotel and stopped the car, "Here we are, The Grande Dépaysement." "It's gorgeous," my mom stepped out of the car.

Gorgeous was an understatement. It looked like I belonged on top of Mount Olympus. Of course, it was cramped into the New York streets, but that added to the charm. The building rose into the air so high it seemed to touch heaven, and people darted in and out like angels. One of those angels just happened to be the handsome devil from the airport. I could not believe he was living in the same place that I was. What are the chances???

He looked like a different person than the last time I had seen him. He still had the mysterious aura, but he was calm and collected. He was dragging a poor bulldog across the steamy sidewalk. People like him do not deserve animals.

What was I going to do if I ran into him while doing my laundry- actually I doubt people here do their own laundry. I guess I shouldn't be so quick to judge. That is my main flaw- judgement. Parker never lets me forget it either. You look down on everyone who messes up because you never give yourself the chance to, I could here her saying.

This was my fresh start to the new judgement free me. I'm going to hang loose (as I possibly can) and enjoy Manhattan (if my mother will actually let me go outside alone). She doesn't feel well, so she doesn't feel like getting out- yet she won't let me go out? What does she think I'm going to do when she goes home? I do not think that Leo (the nickname I coined for him) is going to exit his hospital stay to take me to Serendipity.

Speaking of Leo, we were supposed to go see him after school tomorrow. Apparently he is French?! I mean I tell everyone I am French (and attempt to speak it) but I did not realize that it was my birth father's first language. I'm serious when I say we did not speak of him. I hope it goes well. I've never prayed more about anything in my life. I mean, what if he is as horrible of a person as I expect? I guess I'll find out tomorrow.