BBRae: I'm dying inside

Apologies

It's been a week. Maybe I should forgive them. Maybe he's right. Suddenly, I heard him spoke.

"I miss you, Raven. Please come back."

I moved my hand barely which caught his attention. I opened my eyes slowly, hoping he wasn't there to scold me.

"Raven?" He asked hopefully.

"Beastboy..." I mumbled.

He hugged me and I heard him sob. He didn't scold me? But... Why is he crying? Was that because I left? I hugged him back carefully so just in case he pushes me away.

"Raven. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry."

"For...for what?"

He pulled away and supported my back and head with his firm arms.

"For telling you that you're useless. For saying that you should kill yourself and..and for saying that you're ruining our lives. I'm sorry."

He's apologizing... Don't believe him, Raven. It's a lie!

"No...don't be...it...it was just honesty..."

"What!?"

He practically screamed in fear. He pulled me closer to him and tears flooded his face.

"Raven. Don't do this to yourself. I'm sorry. It was me who made you feel that way. Please don't do this."

I let my tears slip down my face and I hugged him. I feel him. He's regretting everything he said that time.

"Don't do that again. You scared me." He admitted.

"I did?"

"You did. You totally did. I thought I'm gonna lose you."

"....Beastboy?..."

"Yeah, Rae?"

"I love you, too."

"Wha- But...I said that when you're just sleeping deadly... How'd you hear?"

"Things are sometimes can be heard through thoughts."

"Yeah..er..you're right."

I pecked on his cheek gently and rested my head on his shoulder. I felt him rub my back as I relax in his arms.

"You're safe, Raven. It's okay now. It's just time for you to wake up."

He scooped me in his arms carefully and I noticed that I was only in undergarments. So they did saw my self inflicted bruises and wounds. He walked out of the infirmary and I saw him heading for my room. When we got here...it's very clean instead of being messy after I trashed it through anxiety and depression. He laid me down my bed and took a seat just beside me.

"Look, Raven. I'm prepared just in case you're gonna murder me for entering your room for two weeks recently. I was up cleaning your deadly thingies. Those nasty blades are trashed lately and the blood is washed."

"Thank you."

I pulled him closer to me and made him lie down. He was in shock at first but I buried my body to him to calm him.

"Raven...uh...you remember what I promised you?"

"What promise? You have many promise to me."

"That when you finally recovered, we're going out."

"Oh...yeah."

"Maybe..."

He took my wrist with some clotted cuts and ran his gloved fingers on it.

"When you're good, we'll go out."

"Yeah. Sure."

"Please don't do any of this again. I don't want this to happen to you. I don't want you hurt."

"I wouldn't. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I understand why you did this. I would have done the same thing if I were you."

I stayed silent for a moment. Although, he's always the one who breaks it. I secretly like it, though.

"Where are you going?" He mumbled.

"Away..."

"But...why?"

I tried to coolly tell him the reason but I ended sobbing right at his front.

"I don't belong here..."

He sat up holding me but not angrily. It was gentle unlike the last days. He wiped my tears away and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You DO belong there. There are just some people who were being too judgemental like I did. But no words can drag you down by just saying it. Every word can thrust to anyone harder than a knife. But no one fights better than you do."

I felt good. I gave him the tightest hug I can give and I felt soft and hot muscles engage with my lips. I only realized what's happening after few seconds. When we pulled away each other, he gave me a smile which is possibly the brightest thing I've seen.