The Adoption - Until I Find You Again // Book Three

Part Eight

The adoption seemed to go stale once we got home.  Justin's daily updates amounted to little more than saying nothing had changed.  Emily and I were growing more and more frustrated, but we tried our best not to take it out on each other or, more importantly, on Lucy and Noah.

Jeff suggested I pour myself into something else to get my mind off of it and while his suggestion was initially met with some irritation, he was right.  I needed to think about something else so I could get my head clear.  I needed to be able to approach this with clear decisions and intentions otherwise it would just get worse for us.  And I needed to make sure Emily did the same.

So I threw myself into this stupid fashion thing he RSVP'd me for.  And I implored Emily to do it with me until she finally agreed.  She hated being tugged at while someone tried to get her into a dress that cost more than her first car, but I think she also knew we needed something vapid and ridiculous and that had nothing to do with children or adoption.

The whole thing ended up being really good for both of us.  Emily was able to relax and enjoy the process much more than she had in the past.  I think it probably had something to do with the fact that for once she really loved the dress options she'd been presented with. 

It also helped us to deal with the standstill that had been forced upon us.  It at least made the time go by.  We had a great evening and came home with a renewed sense of clarity. 

I woke up the next morning to Emily on her laptop next to me.  She smiled when she saw my eyes flutter open,

"Good Morning, My Love."

I smiled, reaching my arms up to stretch,

"What are you doing?"
"Plane tickets.  It's been a month.  He can't lose his memory of us."

I pushed myself up onto one elbow and watched her click around as she booked us tickets for a week from that day.  Including one for Lucy.

I laid my hand on her thigh,

"Gem said she'd stay over here with Noah.  She really wanted to."

Emily nodded, lifting her hand to her cheek, she chewed on her nail nervously,

"I'm just..."  She let her sentence trail off.

"What is it?"
She let her hand drop as she turned her head to look at me,

"What if she gets attached and then he doesn't come home?  Will she understand that?"

I had also thought about this.  Lucy was super smart for her nine year old brain and I knew she would probably understand logically, but emotionally it might send her for a loop.  My little girl had dealt with emotional situations before and come out just fine on the other side.  But I still didn't like exposing her to that type of thing. 

I laid back down, throwing my arm over my eyes.  I heard Emily stir next to me as she put the laptop on the nightstand and then turned back to me,

"Baby..."

I let my hands fall to the bed with a slap,

"I hate this.  I hate that she has to deal with anything emotional."

Emily smiled,

"So you'd rather she was just blank every day?"  When I shot her a look she giggled, "C'mon...I know what you mean.  But we cannot protect her from everything.  She has to experience disappointment to know how to deal with it."

I stared up at the ceiling, my head shaking slightly,

"She dealt with it enough when I-" 

Emily put her finger to my lips,