Calore /Maven Red Queen Fanfic

Chapter 6

I swallowed hard, my stomach a pit of nausea. I must stop this.'This' being acting weak and insecure. Kings were powerful and not in the least doubtful of any choices they make.
'But your mother made those choices for you. You're the shadow aren't you?' My mind countered. I breathed deeply. Glared into my mirror, scowling at the other me looking weak, frail, unimportant. Kings weren't meant to look like that. They weren't the sickly little boy. They certainly weren't the shadow of the flame. Looking into my eyes, I noticed how dull they were.
'They were bright when Mare was around. You held the flame power but she was the real flame, burning away all your doubts, all paranoid thoughts'  My mind reminded me. I gritted my teeth. Now she was gone, the flame was extinguished. When my own mother tried to erase my love for her too early, it turned into an unfathomable, virulent and uncontrollable obsession. It was dangerous. I was addicted. I shied away from the mirror, ashamed at my pathetic self. I couldn't stand it.
'You're a weak , pathetic, worthless monster. You'll never make me fully proud' My mind echoed in my mothers voice. Even when she was dead, her whispers snaked their way into my mind. I shuddered and moved away towards my wardrobe with my black silk robe trailing behind. I opened the wardrobe. I had to choose something majestic and beguiling. Something that screamed power. I lingered across each clothing item tentatively. If I got this wrong, it would all be over. I swallowed the bile rising in my throat yet again.
'Choose carefully, my little shadow' My mother purred. No. It was all in my head. Doubt  gnawed at my insides intensely. She can't control me, but will this speech go well? I simply didn't know.
That rattled me. I snapped out of my daydream - or rather daynightmare. Paranoia was driving me insane, and I was not some small, skinny, weak little boy. I was the king, and I will prove it. I brought out a dark silk shirt adorned with rubies, garnets and obsidian and slipped it on, followed by matching black silk trousers. Then, struggling slightly, I pulled out a heavy, black cape, the back glittering with the clusters of tiny red and black gems. Putting it on, I studied myself in the mirror, then sighed. I desperately placed the crown on my head and put on a mask. But my lip trembled with nerves, my jaw twitched and my eyes were dull and scared. I was a bundle of nerves.
'Help me' My mind whispered. Shut up.
'I want - I want...' I desperately sought for a word, for a name, for anyone who cared.
'Help me-'
"Your majesty?" A voice sounded, quivering and fearful. My mind writhed in agony. I was alone, I was-
Knock Knock Knock
"Y-your majesty?" The voice asked again. I found myself bent down, grasping my knees. I straightened my posture and breathed deeply.
"You may enter" I said calmly. A red servant appeared, with brown shoulder length hair and piercing blue eyes. She seemed almost intimidating, I realised. Breathe deeply. She bowed her head.
"The car is ready" she stated. Something was off, I was sure of it. However, I shook my head, refusing to let more fear set in. I had other things to think about.
"You may go" I replied coldly. She left the room with slow steps. Were they deliberately slow? Did it mean something? I was overthinking again. I followed the servant out of my room shakily. This was it. Make or break. I squinted as the gentle sunlight hit my eyes, covered by mountainous grey clouds that showed no sky. Frost gathered on the floor, and I concentrated on not falling down the quartz steps. I entered the vehicle and waited for the servants to pack my bags into the back. I was ready
I winced as we hit a bump in the road, entering a rough red slum. More withered faces, and more pity from me. I couldn't help that. Despite being cold, I wasn't a fool, and needed these people on my side.The kingdoms side. My car pulled to a stop, and Iris' followed suit.I felt her sharp eyes pierce through me, despite the two blacked out windows in between us. I stepped out, my mind a bundle of nerves and fear. I couldn't show it. Greeted with a swarming crowd of reds, I was drowned in tension and expectancy. I had to look the part. The strong, reliable king. I straightened my posture and smiled at the crowd, waving in a semicircular motion in an attempt to address the entire crowd.
'They're all here for you. To hear what you have to say. Thousands flocked from their homes in this area just for your speech. Is it good enough?' I thought to myself, worry gnawing at my mind. What if it wasn't? I cleared my head, ascending the steps to the platform before gazing at the sea of faces. The sea of eyes. All looking at me. My knees felt they were about to give way, and I faltered a little. I felt Iris glaring at me. Big mistake. I can't be weak now, not here. Not in front of this crowd, in front of the cameras recording me, broadcasting me to the entirety of Norta.The close up of myself, the king, plastered on the screen behind me.I can't slip up.
"Hello,my fellow people of Norta," I began, heaving a breath that struggled to come, "As you know, I, your king, shall be touring Norta to greet all of you, as well as give a speech; you can take this as you wish." I paused. I wish I'd thought more about the speech. But my mind was on other things, of Mare. I wondered if she was watching me, and how she would react. Focus. I snapped back from my dreamlike state, meeting the reds confused eyes and my heart sank. Oh no. However I realised their eyes were only flicking to me, and I wasn't the main spectacle. I looked to my right, for my servant, for help. She had disappeared. So, turning around, I froze in horror. She was there, on the screen. My blood turned to ice. Mare.

A/N : Okay I'm officially back from my holiday so hopefully I'll update more frequently :)