Call Me Beep Me

Chapter 9

10/09/2016

(09:32) [IMAGE SENT]

(09:32) As promised, a pic from last year's Halloween for you to laugh at.

(09:32) [IMAGE RECEIVED]

(09:37) I don't even want to know how much blue paint you guys used to pull that off...

(09:38) TOO MUCH.

(09:38) Under my fingernails were blue for like two months.

(09:40) You guys look good, though.

(09:40) But your niece (?) looks really blue...in places I don't think she's supposed to?

(09:41) Why does it look like she dipped her hair in a tub of blue paint???

(09:43) Yeah, that's my niece and nephew in the pic with us.

(09:43) aND BECAUSE SHE DID. LITERALLY.

(09:43) Told them to sit still for like two minutes while I opened the door for Hunk, came back and that was the final result.

(09:44) I still don't think my sister's forgiven me yet.

(09:45) That poor child.

(09:45) I feel sorry for any kid that has to call you 'uncle'.

(09:46) Excuse you???

(09:46) I'm an amazing uncle. If there were uncle awards I would win gold.

(09:47) Doubt.

(09:48) Wow, alright. Do you want testimonials? I can get you testimonials.

(09:50) Wait. What?

(09:52) Gimme a sec.

(09:53) What?

(10:02) Alright so, my sister definitely doesn't appreciate being woken up before 10am on a Saturday.

(10:02) Sounds like someone I know.

(10:03) Ahahaha, yeah.

(10:03) But she did let me talk to my niece real quick and I have 100% proof that I am, in fact, the world's greatest uncle.

(10:04) Natalya, aged 6: 'Uncle Lance is the best uncle because he lets us stay up late and he sneaks me extra dessert sometimes. He's also extremely handsome and charming and anyone would be lucky to date him xo'

(10:05) Her words exactly.

(10:06) Exactly?

(10:06) I may have filled in the blanks a tiny, tiny bit.

(10:07) Uh. Huh.

(10:07) Is this the niece that puked on you the last time you saw her?

(10:09) ...