Bella and the bulldogs #newphie

Chapter 12 - a goodbye

Sophie's pov
"You... you what?" I asked desperately trying to keep my voice from trembling. "I told my father to take the job" he repeated looking down, practically choking out the words. "How.... how could you do that?" I asked quietly feeling the anger in me rising up. Silence. I looked up at newt who was still looking down. "For the love of god newt you better answer me!" I said letting the anger slip out. "Sophie please calm down" he asked sadly. "I'll calm down when you tell me your kidding!" I exclaimed. "How could you tell him to take the job! You know that means you have to move and we'll never see each other again! What the hell are you thinking!" I yelled. "I-I" he stuttered. "You what?" I yelled in a whisper letting a tear drip from my eye. He looked up and attempted to wipe away the tear but I stepped back. I didn't want to hurt you" he said quietly. I noticed his eyes were watering. I started at him in amazement. "You didn't want to hurt me?" Well you did an excellent job with that!" I said bitterly. "Sophie my father moves jobs a lot! This is the longest I've ever stayed at one school, so I'll have to leave with him sooner or later!" He yelled. "Well why not later!" I demanded. "The longer we wait the more it will hurt" he insisted. "How?" I asked. "Sophie we've only dated two months and I'm already so unbelievably In love with you" he said as more tears rolled down my cheek. "If I'm this crazy about you now imagine a couple years from now. We'll be even more serious and it will be harder to leave you and harder to let me leave" he said holding back tears himself. "You don't want things to get to serious?" I stammered furiously. "Well maybe you should have thought of that before giving me this stupid promise ring!" I yelled barley Able to make the words exit my mouth. "Why the hell would you make this stupid promise if you knew you couldn't keep it" I said looking at the ring. I was more quiet this time, but only because I was so over come with sadness I could barley speak. "Why'd you even ask me out in the first place?" I asked even more quiet. "Because Sophie-" he started. "When I'm around you I'm so blinded by love I can't stop myself from doing the things I know I shouldn't do... the things that will hurt you" he said taking my hand, no longer trying to fight the tears. "And I thought you hated me, I never expected you to actually like me" he said. I flinched. "I never hated you, i thought you were cute" I replied honestly. He gave me a look of confusion. "Then why were you so mean?" He asked. "I was really boy shy when we met, so whenever I liked a guy I was mean to him" I said to sad to be embarrassed. "Ok what about after you grew out of your boy shyness?" He asked. "I had forgotten I used to like you, and I was already so used to rejecting you" I shrugged, trying to seem casual, but my tears blew my cover. After a minute of silence newt spoke. "I wish things would have been different" he said closing his eyes. "So what your just giving up on me?" I asked heartbroken. "No Sophie I'm letting you go, go get everything you deserve from life" he said. "Your not letting me go your pushing me out!" I cried. "If you tell your dad not to take the job then he'll have to stay for at least a couple more years then I'll be old enough to leave with you" I said with hope. But newt looked at me with sadness over his eyes. "Sophie please let's be realistic, your not leaving your family, your friends, your school and Home. This is where you belong" he said . "No" I objected. "I belong with you, wherever you are.... that's my Home" I insisted. He shook his head. "Sophie I love you but I've already taken far to much away from you, I would hate myself forever if you gave up your happiness here because of me" he said selflessly. "Newt you haven't taken anything away from me" I said stubbornly. "Yes I have, I've taken away a romance between you and Justin, an opportunity to star in a play, time to spend with your friends-" I interrupted him. "Those are all small insignificant things, some that I'm happier with out!" I defended. "Sophie, when your grown up, and you have children.... with some lucky guy..." (I noticed it was hard for newt to say that last part) "your gonna want to tell your kids about your memories from your first play, or stories about you and your best friends, or boyfriend advice for when they start dating" he said solemnly. "Yes but newt most importantly, if those kids ever ask about my first boyfriend.... I don't want to have to pull out an old year book and show them Justin's face in it, I want to be able to point across the room to YOU and tell them it was their father" I said whole heartedly. "Sophie.. I want that too, so badly, and maybe... when we're all grown up I'll move back to Texas and find you and we can make that happen, but for now... I have to leave and you have to try and move on. He said putting his hand on my shoulder. "I don't think I can do that" I said quietly in between sobs. Seeing my obvious struggle newt pulled me close to him and hugged me tight. "Could you do that? Just get over me that easily?" I asked hurt. "No" he admitted honestly. But I have to try, I'm doing this for you, so you can get over me quickly and live a happy life". I wanted to protest. But as soon as I opened my mouth, the only thing that came out was a gasp for air as I continued to cry, and he did to. We hugged and cried together for what seemed like an eternity. I hoped it really would last forever though, because this was better then him leaving me. Leaving me alone. But Deep inside I hated newt in this moment, but I was too overwhelmingly sad to realize it, but I knew soon after I calmed down I would be angry again, and that would probably make me cry again, and that would go on in a loop. I had to get newt out of my room before I turned angry again. "Newt I think you should go now". I said wiping away my tears. He winced but agreed with me. "I suppose that's for the best" he said quietly as he slipped out of mr room and closed the door. "Wait" I called. He stepped back in. "When do you leave I asked sniffling. He paused. Took a deep breath. "Tomorrow night" he said. I nodded. He was about to come back and sit down with me more. "You should just leave, I need to practice watching you do that" I said sourly. He must have decided I needed space, because he closed the door behind him and left without another word. I don't know how I was going to deal with him leaving for good, when the sound of him leaving my room and left me. I sat there alone. I felt weird... I felt empty. It was a horrible way to feel, I didn't want to feel like that forever. Newt was so worried about stealing a play or a couple hours with my friends away from me, but what he hadn't realized was two months ago when we started dating, he had stolen my heart, and now he was walking away with it.

Newts pov

I started walking home. I didn't know how to feel at this moment. A large part of me wanted to run back to Sophie tell her I wasn't going to leave and beg for her forgiveness. But that would be selfish. I never wanted to hurt her, and I knew that I was saving her pain, if we had broken up later when we were even more serious it would have hurt so much worse then this. I knew that, but at the same time I couldn't comprehend a pain worse than the pain I was feeling now. I couldn't imagine my life without Sophie, I didn't want to, every second I did felt like my insides were being torn out. But this was the right thing to do, maybe now Sophie would be with someone better, someone who deserved her as a girlfriend. There was no going back anyways, my dad had already taken the job. Tomorrow at school would be the last time I ever saw her. Ever. It's funny how I had thought through the leaving part so clearly. But I hadn't thought about after, there would be nothing left for me to do other then wallow in my pain.
-the next day-
I had a plan. I well thought out plan. On our last day together we'd pretend I wasn't leaving and we'd spend time together, so our last moments wouldn't be sad. But Sophie never showed. This was the last chance I'd get to say goodbye, and she didn't come. I was supposed to leave right after school for the airport, I would never see her again. Yesterday when I left her room, that was our last moment together. The last time we spoke she was angry at me.  At then end of the day I walked out of the school doors feeling broken. But then I saw her. "Sophie!" I said lighting up as I saw her. She stepped forward. "Newt, I'm still uncontrollably angry at you, but if your leaving for good then I have the rest of my life to be mad, but I only have right now to do this" she said pulling me close and kissing me. Her lips were sweet. I would miss that taste. I tried to absorb every second of it and memorize how it felt to be next to her. It felt good. Too good. It was like I was an alcoholic and this was my last drink before I went sober. Except going sober is a good idea for an alcoholic, but I still wasn't a hundred percent sure this was a good idea for us. Sophie isn't bad for me. But the situation was difficult. This had to be done. As we broke apart she smiled at me. "I'm gonna miss you munchkin" she teased. But I could also see her looking at me trying to memorize my face the way I had memorized our kiss. I looked at her. She was beautiful. I didn't know how I'd get by without seeing that face anymore. I smiled "I'll miss you two." "I'm glad you came to say goodbye" I said. She scowled. "I always did suck at goodbyes." She said with her eyes watering. I kissed her on the fore  head. "Sophie if you cry, I'm gonna cry and that won't be a pretty picture" I said watering up too. She smiled. "You better call often" she reminded. I nodded in agreement. "Wait let's take a photo." I said pulling out my phone. She frowned. "To capture this magical moment?" She asked sarcastically. "So I don't forget what your face looks like" I said taking a picture of us. "There's always face time" she said, but posed by hugging me anyways. Then I noticed my dads car pull up in the parking lot. "I have to go" I said sadly, not taking my eyes of Sophie. "So soon huh?" SHe said with the same sadness. I nodded. Then hugged her. It was a long hug. But I needed it. "I love you so SO much" I reminded her, still hugging. "I know" she said softly. "I love you too" she said burying her face into my shoulder. Then we let go. "Goodbye Sophie" "bye newt" I turned my back on her and started to walk away. "Wait newt!" She called. I turned to look at her. "I wanted to be strong today, I wanted to come here say goodbye then let you go, .... but please don't. Please don't go" she begged. I took a deep breath. I almost promised her I wouldn't. "One of us has to be strong" I said. She nodded slowly, almost as if she expected that answer, but had to try just to be sure. "Then I think you should take this back" she said handing me the promise ring I had given her at the dance. "What! No. That's for you to keep, as a souvenir" I insisted. But she only shook her head. "I can't wear a broken promise, all it symbolizes now is regret" she said dropping the ring back my hand. "I love you" she said one last time. "I love you" I repeated. Then I hopped in my dads car, and watched until I could barley see Sophie anymore. Then I saw her turn around and walk away.