Fear Can Break ↠ Liam Dunbar [Book 2]

✧Cause Of Death✧

Chapter Nineteen ✧Cause Of Death✧

As soon as Hayden had announced my presence to the nearly empty club, the two guys standing at the bar looked over my way to see what the commotion was about. Suddenly very conscious of all the attention being on me, I looked down at my feet sheepishly and tried to remember the speech I had been rehearsing my entire walk to the club., which hadn't exactly been short. 

Hayden seemed to notice my attention-induced blank mind, because once she got over the fact that I was there she quickly led me over to a corner of the club. 

"Can you tell me what's going on now?" Hayden questioned once the others were out of ear shot. 

"Oh, um yeah. One second," I stammered. Clumsily, I began fumbling through my pockets until I could successfully grip and pull out what I'd brought Hayden. Extending my arm awkwardly out to her, I held out a small but still significant wad of money.  "I, uh, wanted to bring this to you." 

"You're kidding right?" Hayden raised an eyebrow and looked from the money to me. "What are you paying me for." 

"Well, um, actually, I'm trying to pay you back," I hurriedly began to explain before Hayden could turn down the offer. "I know you have to pay for the drinks I made you spill the other night all your self and I know this is all under the table since you're underage so you're probably not making a lot of money and I know that I've ran into you a lot because I'm clumsy and a mess and I feel bad and I know that must make me come off as unfriendly or something which I'm not I'm just- just, well I'm just..." 

Running out of both breath and words, my probably frantic eyes fell from Hayden's to the floor between us. I tried to remember where my train of thought was going, but I'd gone off on such a tangent from what I had originally planned on saying that I couldn't remember the points I had hit and the one's I'd forgotten to say.

"You're so awkward. And small," Hayden noted. She tilted her head to the side and I was very conscious of the fact that she was studying me. "I'm definitely not taking your money." 

"I don't mean to be dramatic but I might implode if you don't," I murmured in a small voice.

 I couldn't quite explain why this was so important for me, but I knew it was something I needed to do. This was possibly one of the last things I had any control of in my life and I needed it to go right. I just needed to do something good to remember that I still could and that good things might still be able to happen to my friends. 

"Look, I know that you have, you know, issues with people and contact and socializing and all of that, so it was really nice of you to come out here and I appreciate it, but I just can't take you money," Hayden's voice had lowered too, and softened significantly as if she didn't want to set me off. 

Realizing how noticeable my anxiety was to other's always made me feel self conscious, even ashamed sometimes, but I knew Hayden was only mentioning it to try to be kind. I took a deep breath and nodded through her words.