Complicated

Chapter | 17 |

My mom visited me the next morning, it was nice to see her of course but I couldn't stop thinking about what happened the night before. Just knowing that Liam was laying helpless I a room, in the same hospital as me was gnawing away at me. Not only that reason, but the fact that they wouldn't let me see him because I wasn't his family bothered me too.

Then, there's the fact that after all he's done to me, I couldn't hate him for it. No matter how hard I tried to distance myself from him, I always found my way back and that had to stop. It's like I knew my problem but fixing it was the most difficult part of it all. All day, I'd been distant, and my mom had taken notice to it. Because if she hadn't, why else would she have insisted on staying in town for two weeks.

It's not that I don't like having her around near me, but I just needed space to think and when she's around she doesn't give me that. She's a constant presence, suffocating me with questions and advice that I don't want. All I wanted was to be with Liam, to actually see him, but the hospital system has made that almost impossible and her nagging isn't helping either.

All I wanted was to see him.

Only family they said, but why did Zoe get to go in? She wasn't his family, or was she? I didn't know much about Liam, in fact I don't think we know anything about each other. But nevertheless I should be allowed to go see him, I was the one he came to see after all.

Zoe tells me that he's woken up, but is kind of weak. He lost lots of blood, but she won't tell me how; she says she doesn't know either but from the look in her eyes I know she does. He probably told her not to tell me what happened, maybe it. Was embarrassing or too bad. But I'm sick of people making choices for me, I want to know so I deserve to know.

"Don't worry about it Kadence, if it was important he would've told you." Zoe always said when I asked or hinted the subject. Then she would squeeze my shoulder gently and pull me up, driving me back to my dorm.

I always go to the hospital with Zoe or whoever I can go with actually. Even though I can't go in, I feel like I gave to at least go. They can tell me I'm not allowed to see him but they can't tell me I'm not allowed to see his door. Sometimes, when someone goes in or comes out, I catch a glimpse if him. When he's asleep, he looks so peaceful and calm, but his bandages also make him look broken and vulnerable. When he's awake, he looks bored and annoyed, it's amusing to watch. He's never noticed me, but if he did I wouldn't be able to enter anyway.

Lillian threw a pillow at me, putting a haunt on my thought. It was a Saturday morning and she was dressed in her grey sweats and white tank top. I hadn't noticed before, but Lillian is more of a natural beauty. If she wanted too, she could be a model or something, but I don't think she notice's this. Her laud back and baggy clothing really hide her features and it's a shame, if I was as beautiful as her I defiantly would flaunt it.

"You seriously need to stop moping around," She said sitting next to me on my bed. "All you ever do is sleep, wake up, go to class, do homework, and go to the hospital. It's really depressing."

I shook my head, "That's not true, I went out with my mom yesterday and later today I'm going out with her too."

"Oh congratulations, you spend time with you mommy," Lillan rolled her eyes, her tone sarcastic. "I mean, why don't you hang out with some friend a and get coffee. I thought you hated Liam anyway."

"I don't know, I hate him and then when I see him, I just don't hate him anymore." I replied.

"What does your mom think about this guy you're oh so obsessed with?"

I shrugged, "She hasn't met him, but she's met Niall when he came to get me to drive me to the hospital. That night, she drove me to the hospital."