A Silent Brother No More

A Silent Brother No More, pt 4

When Tessa slowly pulled away from him, he fully expected the fire burning inside of him to stop and die out, but it did not.  The flames still burned, if only slightly lessened in their intensity.

He found he was out of breath, and all words had escaped him as Tessa’s gray eyes rose to meet his.  She smiled without hesitation and maintained her hold on him.

“What are you thinking, Jem?” she said with a small hint of uncertainty. “Please, tell me what is happening in your head right now?”

Jem inhaled deeply, trying to gain control of himself and conjure up the words that would express his feelings in that moment.  He wished he could play his heart for her in this moment, but he did not have his violin and sooner or later he would need to be able to express himself to her using his words.  She loved words, and had always been so much better than himself at speaking her mind.

“There are no words to clearly tell you how happy I am right now, Tessa.  I had hoped you would reciprocate my feelings, but it seemed almost too much to ask for, like it would be tempting fate.” Jem smiled remembering his anxiety only a short time ago as he had approached Tessa on the bridge, and the crushing weight of his decision to walk away.

Tessa continued to smile at him, urging him to continue.  He could tell she was enjoying hearing him speak his mind.

“We’ve led such unusual lives. Have you ever thought of that?” he asked her quietly. “It is doubtful either of us ever believed something like this would happen.”

“I dreamt of it, Jem” Tessa replied confidently.  She seemed to notice his astonished look, and smiled again, bemused. “I did, truly.  In my most guarded dreams, the ones I protected fiercely.  I dreamed of you, as you were, and of what our life may have held had things been different. But, I never dreamed of this, never believed it possible.”

“Life is a wheel, Tessa, remember?” He had told Will the same thing once.  One day, he promised, they would again meet each other when the wheel turned.  Will had always scoffed at his belief that life was cyclical, but Jem had never faltered even after his decision to join the Brothers.

Tessa nodded and held his gaze.  “I believe it’s a miracle, Jem. A miracle made just for us.  Whether that miracle hitched a ride on your wheel, or not, I choose to take full advantage of it,” she told him with a fierce tenacity that caused him to laugh.

“Oh, Tessa, my Tessa!” he brought his hands to her face, and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs.  He still couldn’t believe he was her with her, truly with her.  She had accepted him, asked him to be with her and go with her. It truly was a miracle.

“What now?” he asked her. “I have no idea where to start.  It’s been so long since I was actively a part of this world, it seems so overwhelming.”

Tessa grabbed his hands, still on her face, and closed her eyes slowly, thinking.  He was savoring this moment, the warmth of her hands on his, the flush in her cheeks from the chill in the air.  He studied her expression, committing it to memory.

“I want to take you home, Jem.  I’m not ready to share you with the rest of the world.  Will you go home with me?” Tessa looked so certain as she asked him to join her, it bolstered his own confidence.

He leaned down to her, and rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. “I would follow you anywhere Tessa, surely you know that now.”

The smile that spread across Tessa’s face took his breath away with its brilliance.  Was this really happening?  He fought the urge to pinch himself in case this really were a dream and doing so would bring him out of it, ending this moment of utter bliss and contentment.

Tessa held his hand firmly and began to lead him away from the small dock where they were standing.  He pulled her into his side, holding her closely, sharing his warmth with her. They walked like that, side by side with Tessa resting her head against his shoulder, basking in each other’s company for quite some time.

“Tessa, tell me about the last year,” Jem said, filling the silence, not because it was uncomfortable but because he realized the last hour had been filled with revelations of their hearts not with their usual conversation.

“I’ve been travelling. I spent some time in Idris.  I saw Magnus there, as I told you.  He pointed out the latest generation of Shawdowhunters making a name for themselves; I believe the same Shadowhunters who will play a significant role in what you have to tell me about the last year for yourself.”  Tessa pulled herself into his side, drawing closer to him, and inhaled deeply. “Things were very different during my last visit to Idris, the people seemed different.  Even Magnus, who has always been a constant and formidable force, seems different.”

“A lot has happened, Tessa.  Look at me.  I’m walking proof of how much has changed in the last year.”  Jem absentmindedly stroked Tessa’s arm, considering all that had happened in the last year.  Of course things were different for Magnus, he had found a love that had made him question his immortality, only to find that love was returned with conditions.

“I want to hear all about what has happened for you, Jem. I want to know how all of this happened, how you’re here with me now,” Tessa urged him, squeezing him tighter, eager to hear all he had to tell.

Jem smiled, and pressed a tender kiss to the top of her head. “I want to share it all with you, and I will, but right now I just want to be with you.”

Tessa nodded against his shoulder, quietly accepting his promise to share his story with her at a later time, and agreeing with him. “That’s what I want as well, Jem.”

Tessa stopped him in front of a series of nondescript flats in an older part of the city.  He realized this was where Tessa lived when she was in the city, and his heart started to beat faster in his chest.

“Here we are.  Shall we go in?” Tessa asked him, the smile once again returning to her face.

I can't wait for the next book to come out in the Mortal Instruments series.  I'm scared to write what Tessa and Jem spent the last year doing without knowing what is in the next book, lol. Hopefully it won't be so long between this and the next part. 

Let me know what you think!