A Silent Brother No More

A Silent Brother No More, Pt 8

:: PART 8 ::

“What do you mean, Holy Fire, Jem?”  Tessa was looking at him very intently now, where just moments ago she had been avoiding looking at him directly.  He could tell her curiosity had been piqued, and regardless of the pain the conversation may be causing her, she was determined to know what he meant and how he had been freed of the Silent Brothers.

Jem told Tessa of how Jace Lightwood had come to be tied to Valentine’s true son, Sebastian, requiring Jace’s friends to enlist the aide of the archangel, Michael.  Michael bestowed his sword, Glorious, to the Shadowhunters advising the bond may be broken but providing no other details.  Jem told Tessa how in the chaos of battle Jace had been stabbed through the chest with the angel’s sword, and an unexpected reaction had occurred.  Jace’s blood had been filled with Holy Fire from the angel’s sword, severing the bond with Sebastian and returning Jace to his normal state of mind.

“That is incredible, Jem.  How did he survive such a thing?”  Tessa asked, wonder clearly written in her expression.

“That is still unknown, Tessa.  We, the Silent Brothers I mean, performed many tests, but the best we could determine was if Jace were to become agitated, the fire flared within him and the results were unpredictable.  The Brothers, and myself, feared Jace posed a danger to himself and those around him if he were unable to keep his emotions in check.”

“What do you mean?”

Jem laughed a little to himself.  Jace Lightwood and Will Herondale shared many similarities.  They were both strikingly handsome, and both shared a dysfunctional connection with their emotions.  Jem had noticed early on in his observation of the boy that Jace shared Will’s quickness to anger, Will’s quickness to turn to sarcasm when confronted with uncomfortable situations, an aversion to serious conversations, as well as Will’s predisposition for self-loathing; that is, until Will found love with Tessa and all the glorious forgiveness that comes with true love.

“He is a Herondale, Tessa.  Let’s just say that the boy does not express himself in the most peaceful of ways, shall we?”

At this Tessa also laughed, and shook her head.  She waved him on, encouraging him to continue his story.

“There was a battle one day, outside the Iron Sister’s citadel.  Jace rushed through the portal after being explicitly ordered not to.  Remind you of anyone?”  Tessa nodded, and smiled, knowing Jem was again alluding to Will’s quickness to be involved in dangerous pursuits, even when unbidden.  “Jace fought like no one I’ve ever seen before.  It was as if he could not be stopped, could not be slowed down.  The Holy Fire in his veins was driving him, making him almost invincible.”

“He came face to face with Sebastian, there on the field, and the two fought there.  Jace was caught off guard and was stabbed by Sebastian in the chest.”

Tessa inhaled sharply, and Jem hesitated.  He looked at Tessa, wordlessly questioning if she wanted him to continue.  Tessa nodded and smiled at him, encouraging him to continue.

“The strangest thing happened next, though.  Suddenly, Sebastian recoiled and his hand, still holding the pummel of his sword, was ablaze.  The Holy Fire within Jace was pouring out of the wound in his chest, in the same way blood does, but it was flames coming from the wound.  I have never seen such a thing, Tessa, in all my years working as a Silent Brother.

Jem paused, remembering the screams anguish coming from Jace as he watched flames run like blood from wound in his chest.

“It was terrifying, the brilliance and the horror of it. I rushed to Jace’s side, as my first impulse was to do all I could to help stop the bleeding and save him.  I acted solely on that impulse, without thinking and as soon as I applied pressure to the wound, the flames were upon me.  I was not consumed by them in the traditional sense, but the flames entered my body and I burned from the inside.”

“Unbelievable… I’m speechless, Jem.  What was it like, Jem?” Tessa asked him, her voice filled with disbelief, awe and curiosity.

“It was the most excruciating experience of my life, even more than taking on the Marks of the Brother’s that night so long ago.  I could feel the fire burning through my veins, first at my fingertips and slowly moving its way through my body. It was like the brief pain of snuffing out a match with your fingertips and then holding it just a moment too long but throughout my body, and without any relief.  When I awoke, I was in the medical building in Alicante and I was healed.”

Jem sighed remembering the moment the flames had taken him.  At first, it was as if his hand had been dipped in ice.  His fingers tingled in the same way as they would have had he been holding a snowball without wearing gloves.  Then slowly, the nerves came alive, and the tingling numbness changed to a burning so intense it had immobilized him and left him crying out in agony.

“It’s remarkable, Jem.  How absolutely extraordinary!  What happened to the boy, Jace?  And what became of your connection to the Brothers?  How was it severed?”  Tessa was firing off questions at him so quickly he had to reach out and take her hand to halt her words.  He laughed, and squeezed her hand.  So full of life and curiosity, his Tessa.

“Jace survived the battle.  I actually spoke with him soon after we were both well enough to get out of our beds.  He insisted on seeing me despite the Brothers attempts to dissuade him. Believe it or not, he apologized to me for what happened.  He seemed very unsure of himself in the moment, almost vulnerable; a feeling I am sure he is not well acquainted with.”  The similarities between Will and Jace never ceased to leave Jem in awe. 

“I do not know how the fire did what it did, Tessa, but when I awoke I was no longer tied to the Brothers and I was no longer bound to the drug that nearly ended my life.  It would seem the fire burned away the impurity in my blood, of the poison still there, and left me purified and healed.”

“It’s so amazing, Jem!  After all those years that Charlotte, and countless others, searched for a cure for not only your addiction but of the poison that necessitated your addiction.  It seems the cure was not to be found by regular means after all.”  Tessa rested her cheek in her hand and stared quietly at Jem, studying his face. “If only Charlotte, and Will, had been able to see you healed and returned to us all as you should have been all along.”

Jem reached across the table, and held his hand to Tessa’s face.  He hated to see Tessa conflicted in the way she was now.

“As much as I wish they could be here with us, to see me cured and healthy, the wheel has carried us to this time and place because this is when we’re supposed to be here.  If I had been cured all those years ago, then you may never have married Will and the entire future we have been discussing as the present may have never come to pass.  Time, and life, has moved on in the way it was meant to.  Do not be sad, Tessa, because of all that we have lost.  Let’s be happy for all that we have gained.”

Jem caressed her cheek gently with his fingers, and smiled at her encouragingly, willing her to feel his joy in the moment. 

Tessa met his gaze, and smiled, although he could tell her heart was not truly in it. He was sure her feelings were conflicted at that moment between missing Will, and wishing Jem had been able to be cured so long ago.  Although Jem had wished so long ago that a cure could have been found, he was happy in his heart that Will had found his redemption in his love for Tessa and that he had lived out the remainder of his life basking in that love.

“You are right, Jem. Here in this moment, this is where we’re meant to be. I’m determined to live in this moment, with you, and live it to its fullest.”  This time when Tessa smiled, it reached her eyes, and Jem’s heart filled with happiness and love.