Independent Love

I Can't

A week had gone by and me and Makih were otw to the doctors to check and see if I was pregnant or not. We dropped the kids off at my parents house then we went to get some breakfast. 20mins later we made it to the doctors and for out. We walked into the doctors office I signed in and we got seated.

Makih: Its gone be ok, no matter what I'm here. I love you

Me: I love you too

Doctor: Mrs. Bella Love

Me and Makih got up and walked to the back and into a room. I was so nervous about the whole thing, and I barely could look at Makih.

Doctor: Oo Mrs. Love I'm gone need you to pee in this cup and after we can check you stomach. Is that ok?

Me: Yes

I peed in the cup and waited in the room with Makih standing by my side holding my hand. We waited a good 25mins for her to come back.

Doctor: Well Mrs. Love you are indeed pregnant

Me: Noo, I don't want to keep it

Makih: You sure baby

Me: I DON'T WANT TO KEEP IT

Doctor: Mrs. Love I'm going to give you till tomorrow to decide that. I just want to make sure that you are sure about this. Just go home and think it over until tomorrow that's all I'm asking. I see women come in here everyday and get rid of babies I just want you to think about

Me: Wtf

I walked out of the doctors office and waited outside for Makih. He finally walked out with my purse and sat down beside me on the ground

Me: I can't Makih, I can't. As soon as he finds out I'm pregnant he is going to make my life a living hell. 18 plus years I'm gone have to have him in my life. I don't want to look at his face. As much as I'm against having abortions, I just can't do this

Makih: You know I stand by what ever you want to do. As much as I don't want you to have a baby by another nigga you are. If you keep the baby I'm gone treat him or her like they mines regardless. The police is looking for him I got people looking for him. Look I'm just saying, don't be afraid to have this baby, I'm not pushing you to do this but I know that kids are important to you and ik something in you love this baby but you just trying not to get attached. Let's go home think this through and whatever decision you make I'm ok with it

Me: Yea, I hear you

Makih: We in this together alright

Me: Alright

Makih: Now give your man some loving, and let's go feed my two babies and go get my other two babies

Me: Uhh you make me sick *laughing*

We got in the car and went to go pick up the kids from my parents house. After we went back to the house to make dinner. We were actually moving out of the house we were in I just didn't want to be in the house anymore so it was up for sale and we found a new home that we are waiting to move in.

I sat in the living watching movies with the kids while Makih cooked some gumbo. We were snuggled up in the covers while watching Maona. Of course MJ went to sleep after he ate but Kairi was all into the movie. I started to think about how much I love my kids and would I be able to have an abortion.

Incoming call Star

Me: Hey girl

Star: Wyd

Me: Watching movies with my babies

Star: I'm coming over, I'm bored by myself

Me: Alright, you staying the night?

Star: Hell yea

Me: Ok I'll be waiting for you

Star: I'm outside already

Me: Really well come in

Ending call

Me: how in the hell you just gone come to my house then call me to ask if you can come over

Star: Shidd you never know, might tell me no

We walked into the kitchen to get us something to drink and sat in the kitchen while Makih cooked.

Makih: Here come loud mouth

Star: Shut up dummy, soooo how did the doctors go

Me and Makih looked at each other

Me: I'm pregnant

Star: Well girl you know I'm here for whatever decision you make

Me: I still don't know what I want to do

Star: What do you think about it Makih?

Makih: I mean it's her decision if she wants to keep it or not. But I'm here for her regardless the baby is gone be ours if she keeps it. I'm not leaving her over something she couldn't control

Soon Kairi came running in the kitchen with my phone. I looked at it to see I got a text from a number I didn't know. I opened it to see and picture of me lifeless in the bed with a text saying " You are so beautiful, I loved every bit of you. And I can't wait to be a father to our daughter or son, love you"

Makih: What's wrong

I gave him my phone and as he was looking at it I could tell he was fuming from looking at it.

Star: What's wrong????? What's wrong

I got up and ran into the bathroom to throw up. I felt someone hold my hair and rubbing my back

Star: It was him wasn't it

I nodded my head and got up to brush my teeth. When I got back into the kitchen I seen Makih talking on my phone.

Voicemail
Makih: Oh so now you don't want to answer the phone. You fucking with the wrong one nigga. When I find you, nigga you dead on site and that's on my mama. You think you can come in my house and hurt my wife, you a straight pussy for putting yo hands on her. Yo call or text this phone again and see what's gone happen.

End of voicemail

Makih: How many times have you got these messages

Me: This my first, this is why I'm not keeping the baby, in not going through this period

I left and walked back into the living room with my babies and continued watching the movie with Kairi. I'm not keeping the baby and that's my final choice