Parties with Cake

No

you smell like ash.
and my steering wheel knows your secrets,
so do the winding roads
that i'm screaming to.
police sirens don't care for you,
even if my bed still feels
each of your palms and knees-
honestly?
i've lost count of every place you left with the taint of your breath,
and i can shout until my tongue is swollen,
but you don't woe.
or worry.
or use your apologies for me to use a keepsake on nights when my body forgets it is safe,
instead you twist the story.
you say you're sorry,
but what you want? is for manipulation to twist me towards forgiveness.
a word that used to roll off my tongue like honey,
after every rape.
after every place you touched without permission.
after every date we still went on.
because you used crying eyes to blind my own,
and blind i was to your
negligence.
and abuse.
and the way you only loved me because i could please you sexually.
i hope you burn,
and while your body turns-
trying fight the flames,
you see me,
as when you first saw me, and my eyes hadn't lost their way
and my money still stayed in the bank
and my dinner still slept in my belly-
and i hope when you see all that you took from me,
you die.