Doctor Who and Star-Lord Vol. 2

Escape from the Sovereign

'Who's Mrs Frizzle over here, Doctor?' Peter asked. 'Mrs Frizzle?' River replied. 'I haven't been called that before. I'm Professor River Song, archaeologist and-' 'You were caught attempting to steal the batteries, Dr Song,' Ayesha interrupted. 'I was only going to use them for research!' River protested. 'As for the other one,' Ayesha said, 'I understand she is your sister, Gamora.' 'She's worth no more to me than the bounty due for her on Xandar.' Gamora replied. 'She was also apprehended attempting to steal the batteries.' Ayesha said. 'Do with both of them as you please.'  Gamora took River and Nebula away. 'We thank you, High Priestess Ayesha.' Quill said, preparing to walk away. 'What is your heritage, Mr Quill?' Ayesha asked. 'My mother is from Earth.' Peter said. 'And your father?' Ayesha asked. Peter paused for a moment. 'He ain't from Missouri, that's all I know.' Peter replied. 'I see it within you,' Ayesha said, 'an unorthodox genealogy. A hybrid that seems particularly...reckless.' 'Peter, don't let her upset you,' the Doctor whispered. 'You know, they told me you people were conceited douchebags, but that isn't true at all!' Rocket said sarcastically before winking again. This drew a gasp from all the Sovereign around them. 'Oh shit, I'm using my wrong eye again, aren't I?' Rocket said, 'I'm sorry. That was meant to be behind your back.' As everyone left, Drax and Rocket were talking. 'Count yourself blessed they didn't kill you.' Drax said. 'You're telling me,' Rocket said, 'you wanna buy some batteries?' Drax laughed, before Rocket shushed him as they left.
As they got back to the Milano via the TARDIS, Rocket was preparing to fly it towards Xandar. 'All right, let's get baldy and frizzy to Xandar and collect that bounty!' Rocket said, as he flew the ship away. Peter's cassette player was playing, and Groot was lying on top of a window, looking out towards the city below. The Doctor was putting River in handcuffs, and Gamora was doing the same to Nebula. 'Well, River, you did say I was going to see you again.' the Doctor said. 'This is the youngest I have ever seen you.' River said. 'You said that last time we met,' the Doctor said, 'and you died as well. In the Library, remember?' 'We must be meeting each other in the wrong order then,' River said, 'as I was with your future face just now in 1930s Germany. I vaguely remember your friend and his pet raccoon.' Peter, who was getting changed turned towards her. 'You know me and Rocket?' he asked. 'Yes,' River said, 'it's likely I will see you again in the future as well.' 'Doctor, what is going on?' Peter asked. 'We keep meeting in the wrong order,' the Doctor said. 'We are both time travellers, and it's just a thing that happens.' He then left River in her cuffs. 'I hate to do this River, but my friends need the money.' River sighed with sadness. Whilst Gamora was putting Nebula in cuffs she briefly looked at Peter. 'That stuff about my father,' Quill said, 'who does she think she is?' 'I know you're sensitive about that.' Gamora said. 'I'm not sensitive about it, I just don't know who he is.' Quill replied. 'Sorry if it seemed like I was flirting with the High Priestess. I wasn't.' 'I don't care if you were.' Gamora said as she walked away with Nebula. 'Well, I feel like you do care,' Quill said. 'That's why I'm apologising. So sorry!' 'Gamora is not the one for you, Quill,' Drax said, suddenly appearing next to Peter. 'Damn shadow,' Peter muttered. 'There are two types of beings in the universe,' Drax said, 'those who dance and those who do not. I first met my beloved at a war rally.' 'Oh, God,' Peter muttered. 'Everyone in the village flailed about dancing,' Drax said, 'except one woman, my Ovette. I knew immediately that she was the one for me. The most melodic song in the world could be playing, but she wouldn't even tap her foot. Wouldn't move a muscle. One might assume she was dead.' 'That does sound pretty hot,' Peter replied. 'It would make my nether regions engorge.' Drax said. 'Ok, I get it, yes.' Peter said.  'I'm a dancer, Gamora is not.' 'You just need to find a woman who is pathetic - like you.' Drax said. Peter hummed in agreement.
Gamora was finishing attaching Nebula's cuffs to a platform, as River's cuffs had already been attached, as she looked at some yaro root. 'I'm hungry,' Nebula said, 'hand me some of that yaro root.' 'No, it's not ripe yet,' Gamora said, 'and I hate you.' 'You hate me?' Nebula said. 'You left me there while you stole that Stone for yourself. And yet here you stand, a hero. I will be free of these shackles soon enough and I will kill you, I swear.' 'No,' Gamora said, 'You're gonna live out the rest of your days in a prison on Xandar, wishing you could.' Nebula then tugged at her crutches angrily, as River looked on. As Gamora left, River turned towards Nebula. 'I shouldn't have trusted you, Nebula,' River said. 'You seem to automatically have a target on your back wherever you go.' 'Coming from you,' Nebula said. 'You don't know anything about me.' River said angrily. Then an alarm went off and Gamora rushed upstairs, with the Peter, Rocket and Drax. The Doctor then rushed out of his TARDIS, which he was doing repairs to, and he tried not to look at River as he followed Gamora upstairs. There was lots of small ships coming up behind the Milano. 'This is weird,' Peter said, 'we've got a Sovereign fleet approaching from the rear.' 'Why would they do that?' Gamora asked. 'Probably because Rocket stole some of their batteries.' Drax said. 'What?' the Doctor muttered. 'Dude!' Rocket said. 'Right,' Drax said, 'he didn't steal some of those. I don't know why they're after us, what a mystery this is.' Peter gave Rocket a dirty look before the Sovereign ships suddenly started firing on the Milano, causing Quill to be forced to dodge out of the way, causing the Milano to swiftly twist and turn, shaking it a bit, as River and Nebula held on to the bar where their crutches were. 'What were you thinking?!' Peter yelled. 'They were really easy to steal!' Rocket said. 'That doesn't mean you should!' the Doctor said. 'That's your defence?' Gamora asked. 'Come on!' Rocket said, 'you saw how that High Priestess talked down to us. Now I'm teaching her a lesson!' 'Oh, I didn't realise your motivation was altruism,' Peter sneered, 'It really is a shame that the Sovereign have mistaken your intentions and are trying to kill us!'  'Exactly!' Rocket said. 'I was being sarcastic!' Peter said. 'Oh no, you're supposed to use a sarcastic voice!' Rocket said, 'now I look foolish!' 'Rocket, you'd look foolish anyway!' the Doctor said. 'Can we put the bickering on hold until after we survive this massive space battle?' 'More incoming!' Quill said, as the ships were now heading straight towards them. 'Good!' Rocket said. 'I wanna kill some guys!' He yelled in glee as he fired the ship's machine gun at the Sovereign fleet, whilst Peter dodged in and out the way. 'You're not killing anyone.' Gamora said. 'All those ships are remotely piloted.'
On the planet's surface, there were some Sovereign citizens controlling the ships remotely like a huge arcade. 'What is the delay, Admiral?' Ayesha snapped. 'High Priestess,' the Admiral said, 'the batteries, they are exceptionally combustible, and could destroy the entire fleet.' 'Our concern is their slight against our people.' Ayesha said. 'We hire them and they steal from us? It is heresy of the highest order!'  'All command modules,' the Admiral said, 'fire with the intent to kill!'
The Milano kept dodging out of the way. 'What's the nearest habitable planet?' Peter asked. Gamora used her radar to detect it. 'It's called Berhert,' Gamora said. 'How many jumps?' Peter asked. 'Only one,' Gamora said. 'but the access point is 47 clicks away, and you have to make it through that quantum asteroid field.' The asteroid field had asteroids constantly appearing out of nowhere. 'Quill, to make it through that, you'd have to be the greatest pilot in the universe!' Drax said. A smile grew on Quill's face. 'Luckily for us-' he began. 'I am,' Rocket said, switching the controls to him and causing Quill's smile to disappear. Rocket then swerved around the field. But then Quill switched the controls back towards him. 'What are you doing?' Rocket asked. 'I've been flying this rig since I was 10 years old!' Quill said. 'I was cybernetically engineered to pilot a spacecraft!' Rocket replied. 'You were cybernetically engineered to be a douchebag!' Peter snapped, switching the controls back to him. 'Stop it!' Gamora said. 'Later on tonight, you're gonna be laying down in your bed, and there's gonna be something squishy in your pillowcase.' Rocket began, 'and you're gonna be like, 'What's this?', and it's gonna be BECAUSE I PUT A TURD IN THERE!' Rocket switched the controls back to him. 'You put your turd in my bed, I shave you.' Peter warned. 'Oh, it won't be my turd - it'll be Drax's.' Rocket replied. Peter sighed and switched the controls back to him as Drax burst into laughter. 'I have famously huge turds!' he said. 'We're about to die, and this is what we're discussing?' Gamora said. 'Doctor can you lock the control settings with that screwdriver thing so this douchebag doesn't crash this ship?' Peter said. 'You're not being much better Peter!' the Doctor said. 'Can't the pair of you just stop before we die?' But then this was only followed by Rocket and Peter quickly switching the controls to their own seats. But this bickering caused the ship to crash into an asteroid, blowing a hole in it, and causing it to spin out of control. Nebula and River were hanging out of the ship exposed to deep space. 'DOCTOR!' River yelled as she was hanging on. Nebula was screaming. The Doctor then ran downstairs and discovered the two women freezing due to the vacuum of space. 'RIVER, HOLD ON!' the Doctor yelled. Peter then put a backup airlock on the window that had been blown off, and Nebula and River fell to the ground. 'IDIOTS!' Nebula yelled. 'Doctor, free me!' River said. 'I can help!' The Doctor then used his screwdriver to free River from her shackles. 'What about me?' Nebula yelled. 'You're staying there, Nebula.' the Doctor said. 'I'm not risking Gamora's life.' 'Doctor!' Nebula yelled angrily. 'Well, that's what you get when Quill flies.' Rocket said. Quill gave him a death stare before Gamora threw a small stone at Rocket. 'We still have a Sovereign craft behind us!' Gamora said. River came up the stairs. 'Why did you free her?!' Peter yelled. 'Because we can trust her!' the Doctor said. 'What about Nebula?' Gamora asked. 'Still cuffed.' the Doctor replied. 'Our weapons are down!' Peter said. '20 clicks to the jump!' Gamora said. Drax then went downstairs and kicked a tarp root out of Nebula's hand. 'It's not ripe,' he said as he put on a spacesuit and took a huge gun and launched himself out into deep space, attached by a cord, attempting to destroy the Sovereign craft, which fired on the Milano, hitting it again. Back on the Sovereign base, everyone was cheering on the one remaining craft. '15 click to the jump!' Gamora said, whilst Drax was being pulled around in space. '10 clicks!' Gamora said as Drax aimed the gun up. 'Die spaceship!' he yelled as he shot the craft down, destroying it. Back at the Sovereign base, no one was amused. 'You suck Zylak,' one citizen said. 'Typical,' another added.
'5 clicks!' Gamora yelled. But as they escaped the field, even more Sovereign craft appeared. 'Son of a...' Peter yelled. 'They went around the field!' The ship was then pelted with bullets from the surrounding Sovereign crafts. But suddenly out of nowhere, a mysterious blue energy suddenly shot out, destroying all the ships in the fleet. 'What?' the Doctor and River both said.

Meanwhile back at the base everyone was moaning when their ships were destroyed. 'Someone destroyed all our ships!' the Admiral said. 'What?' Ayesha asked. 'Who?'
'1 click!' Gamora yelled as a small egg shaped ship could be seen outside with a man on top of it. 'What is that?' Rocket said. 'Who cares?' Peter replied. 'That's the jump point! Go!' The man was attached to the ship by two long strands of blue energy. 'It's a guy.' Rocket said. 'But who is it?' River asked. 'Like Peter said, that's not the main priority!' the Doctor replied as they passed through the jump point with Drax still outside. 'Oh my god,' Gamora said. 'He's still out there?' 'River, come with me!' the Doctor said, as they ran downstairs towards the TARDIS before rushing inside. 'Doctor, what are you doing?' River asked as the Doctor was pressing buttons on the TARDIS's central console. 'I have a plan,' the Doctor said. Gamora then rushed downstairs attempting to hold Drax back towards the ship, which was crashing, and on fire. But Gamora herself was almost also thrown out the ship. The TARDIS then came flying in, and the Doctor then opened its doors. 'DRAX! GAMORA!' he called out. 'LET GO! JUMP INTO THE TARDIS! QUICKLY!' Quill noticed this on the screens and then turned around to see Groot eating Lucky Charms. 'GROOT, PUT YOUR SEATBELT ON!' Peter yelled. 'PREPARE FOR A REALLY BAD LANDING!'
As he said this the Milano and the TARDIS crashed into some trees, scraping along the ground, before Gamora ultimately gave up as she and Drax were flung into the TARDIS as the Doctor quickly shut the doors whilst River piloted it. The Milano kept scraping along the floor, the TARDIS following it, before coming to a sharp stop as one of its wings fell off.
Inside the TARDIS, Drax was laughing. 'That was awesome! Yes!' he yelled as he, Gamora, the Doctor and River emerged from the TARDIS and walked towards the Milano. Gamora was not amused. 'LOOK AT THIS!' she yelled at Peter and Rocket. 'WHERE'S THE OTHER HALF OF OUR SHIP?' 'My ship,' Quill corrected her. 'EITHER ONE OF YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN US THROUGH THAT FIELD, HAD YOU FLOWN WITH WHAT'S BETWEEN YOUR EARS INSTEAD OF WHAT'S BETWEEN YOUR LEGS!' Gamora snapped. 'If what's between my legs had a hand on it,' Peter said, 'I guarantee I could have landed this ship with it.' 'Yes, we know you have a good penis, Peter, but now is not the time!' the Doctor said. 'Peter, we almost died because of your arrogance.' Gamora said. 'More like because he stole Anulax batteries!' Peter said. 'Harbulary batteries,' Drax corrected him. 'No they are not, the Doctor proved that earlier!' Peter replied.
'Do you know why I did it Star-Munch?' Rocket said. 'I'm not gonna answer to "Star-Munch".' Peter muttered. 'I did it because I wanted to!' Rocket said. 'Dick,' Peter muttered. 'Can you both shut up please?' the Doctor said. 'What are we even talking about this for?' Rocket said. 'We just had a little man save us by blowing up 50 ships!' 'How little?' Drax asked. 'Well, I don't know, like this?' Rocket replied, gesturing with his fingers. 'A little one inch man saved us?' Gamora said. 'Well, if he got closer, I'm sure he'd be much larger.' Rocket said. 'That's how eyesight works you stupid raccoon!' Peter said. 'DON'T CALL ME A RACCOON!' Rocket yelled. 'Rocket-' River began. The Doctor stopped her. 'He's an experiment from a laboratory, River,' the Doctor whispered. 'He doesn't know what a raccoon is.' River looked at Rocket. 'I'm sorry,' Peter said. 'I took it too far. I meant trash panda.' There was a moment of silence. 'I don't know.' Drax said. 'Is it?' River said. 'It's worse. It's so much worse!' Peter giggled. This angered Rocket. 'YOU SON OF A-' he yelled as he attempted to attack Peter. 'Stop that!' the Doctor yelled. River noticed the ship coming through the jump point. 'Someone followed us through the jump point,' Nebula said. Everyone took out their weapons. 'Set me free, you'll need my help.' Nebula said. 'I'm not a fool, Nebula,' Gamora replied. 'You are a fool if you deprive yourself in hand to hand combat.' Nebula replied. 'You'll attack me the moment I let you go.' Gamora said. 'No I won't,' Nebula replied. 'Yeah, you'd think an evil super villain would know how to properly lie.' Peter said. 'I bet it's the one inch man.' Drax said. 'He won't exactly be one inch when he comes down, will he?' the Doctor said. The egg shaped ship then softly landed on the planet's surface in front of the group, as a yellow, oval shaped door opened, revealing two figures - one of them a shy looking reserved woman with black hair and two antennae on top of her head, wearing a green dress, and the other an old man, with a long grey beard, and long grey hair, wearing grey clothing, who seemed to be staring directly at Peter. 'After all these years, I've found you.' the man said. 'And who the hell are you?' Peter replied. 'Well, I figured my rugged good looks would make that obvious,' the man replied. 'My name is Ego, and I'm your dad, Peter.' Peter looked at Ego confused.
'What?' the Doctor said.