Afraid to Fall

4. "Suck his dick"

Thalia

"He fucking said what?!" Maz screams, clutching a pillow to her chest and standing up on her bed. She jumps up and down excitedly, looking like a child in her red onesie. "Oh my God, Thal. This could be it for you!" 

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?" Maz huffs and rolls her eyes, bringing herself back down to sit on the bed. She brushes her blue hair out of her eyes. 

"I love you, Thal and you're super freaking smart but sometimes you can be dense. I'm talking about your project. He literally just admitted that he thinks you're hot. Use that to your advantage; get him to be your subject for your project." 

"That's the plan or at least that would be ideal. I don't know how I feel about delving into his personal life. I mean I barely know him." I take a sip of my orange juice. 

"Exactly!" Maz encourages. "Get to know him for your project and then once you figure out what you need to know, suck his dick." 

I literally choke on the orange juice and it sprays onto the comforter. Maz's eyes narrow to slits and she calmly rises from the bed and returns with a towel. "To be fair, I probably should have given you a warning. That's the only reason I'm not pissed." I send her a look of apology but continue on.

"I am not giving him head. Like I said, I barely know him."

"Oh, come on," Maz lays the towel over the mess. "You can't tell me you aren't attracted to him." 

I open my mouth to protest but I can't. Ashton really is attractive. Attractive doesn't even describe him well enough. With his tanned skin, toned arms, and those mesmerizing eyes he really is more than just attractive. He's beautiful. 

"Exactly. He's basically daddy number two." 

I roll my eyes at her words but can't help but chuckle a bit. 

"So, go talk to him and ask him to help you out. Then maybe after he can help you out." Maz winks suggestively. 

"You're disgusting!" 

Maz laughs wholeheartedly and I heed her advice as I grab my bag and head out the door. On my way out, the last thing I hear is Maz shouting.

"Use protection!"

***  

When I reach Luke and Ashton's dorm, I knock on the door nervously. I've only spoken with Ashton twice and now I was asking this huge and rather personal favor of him. What if he says no? The door opens and reveals Luke in basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He sends me a smile. 

"Hey, what's up?"

"Hey, Luke. Is Ashton here?" 

Luke seems taken aback by my question but nods and agrees to go get him for me. I stand in the hallway awkwardly not knowing whether I should step inside or not. Soon, a shirtless Ashton comes to the door and I try not to stare. Sure, I saw him basically naked before, but now he's standing up and I can clearly see the muscles in his arms and a faint hint of a v-line. 

"Hey, pretty girl. What's up?" I feel my cheeks redden at his nickname but I remind myself as to why I'm there. 

"Hey, Ashton. I just had a favor to ask, if you're up for it." Ashton nods as if to say 'Go ahead' and I decide to continue. "I have this project for a class and I basically have to hold several therapy sessions with someone and write up a paper about it. Would you mind if I used you?" 

Ashton's eyes glaze over a bit and his whole demeanor changes. His jaw stiffens and he shoves his hands into the pockets of his flannel pajama pants. "I don't know, Thalia. That's really fucking personal." I sigh. 

"Trust me, I know. But, I don't really have anyone else who wants to do it and you said you owed me one and I figured I should go ahead and ask." 

Ashton exhales heavily and runs his fingers through his disheveled hair. "Fine, but if I say I'm not going to answer anything you can't force me. Just bullshit it, then." I nod in agreement, a small smile forming on my face.

"Sounds good. You've got a deal. Thank you, I really appreciate it. Do you want to start tonight?" 

"Tonight, that's so early." He laughs. 

"I know, but I'd prefer to get this done as soon as possible." 

"Okay, fine. I'll meet you at your dorm at 6. Just make sure it's done quick, there's a party tonight."

I nod in understanding and we bid each other goodbye. He shuts the door and I head back towards my dorm an aching shadow of sadness in my heart because I know what's going to happen at that party. 

Ashton is going to get drunk and probably end up bringing another girl, maybe more than one to bed with him and as badly as I want to not care about it I do; because maybe I like the way my name slips past his lips. Maybe I like the flattering names he calls me and maybe I just want to be the one he takes to be and not those others. But it's all impossible because it is not a game of maybes when it comes to one thing. 

Ashton is Ashton, and that isn't going to change. 

Hey guys! I'm so sorry it's been a while! I've been dealing with college and this fucking hurricane Irma is supposed to directly hit me today so I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified. Anywayyyyy, here's another chapter and we are finally getting somewhere. Much love and hope you all stay safe and lovely!

-S x