Afraid to Fall

6. Proposition

Thalia

      It's official. I've fucked up any chance of passing this class. Ashton said he would come back, but it's been a week and every single time I see him he avoids my gaze entirely. I pried too much and he went straight to his main defense mechanism; sex. His words still resonate in my mind. 

      "Do you like to fuck, princess?"

      Just the memory of his words continue to go straight to my core. No matter how hard I try to deny the fact that I am sexually attracted to him, I can't. I flat out denied it when I told Maz about our encounter. I debated with her until even she got tired of arguing. I kept scoffing at Aniya's accusations the next few days. Each time I negated her, a twinge of guilt would resonate within me. However, I didn't want to admit I was lying. I refused to admit until anything until last night because last night things changed. 

      Last night I touched myself to the idea of him. Last night I rubbed myself until I came to the mental image of his face. Last night I orgasmed while moaning his name. Last night I realized that I can't lie. 

      I really want to fuck Ashton Irwin.

      I cross my thighs, suppressing the memory and the feelings and continue reading through my Psychology book. I'm disappointed in myself. Not only did I let Ashton get to me, the guy who is probably a walking STD, I have to start from the beginning. At this rate, I'll be finishing the project the day it's due; if I'm lucky. I exhale, and turn the page of the thick textbook. 

      The chair next to me slides out from beneath the table. I look up to see who it is and my heart catches in my throat. Speaking of the proverbial Devil, Ashton Irwin is staring back at me. I try to swallow, but my mouth is parched. I take in his eyes-the cold beauty of them-and his toned arms exposed in his cut off band tee. 

      Damn it, Thalia. He's just a man. 

      I steady my breathing and continue with my reading. We sit in an awkward silence for a few moments until Ashton speaks. "So you're just going to ignore me, then?" Me, ignoring him? Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black!

      "I'm sorry, I thought we were doing this thing where we ignore each other, considering you've been doing it to me the past week." I huff in return. If he thinks I am going to be one of those girls he can walk over he's wrong. His face slackens, the surprise of my remark evident. 

      "Okay, maybe I have but can you blame me? You were delving in pretty deep." 

      "Whatever," I scoff. "You didn't leave until I said no to you. Is that how you always handle rejection? You just storm off when you can't get your dick wet?" 

      "Shh!" A voice sounds from around me and I find the library assistant giving me a cross look. I roll my eyes. Why did Ashton come here of all places? 

      "Come on, Thal. Let's just talk somewhere else, yeah?" I groan but agree, not wanting to be kicked out of the library for a week. I grab my things and follow Ashton out. Surprisingly, he holds the door open for me. The door closes behind us and we sit on the nearest bench. I set down my books and cross my arms angrily. "I don't always react like that to rejection, okay?" Ashton begins, running his fingers through his hair. I raise my brows at him and he sighs in dejection. "Okay, fine. I've never been rejected to know what it's like." 

      Part of me is proud that I'm the first girl to reject him while the other part of me just wants to ride him to kingdom come. I'm going to stick with the proud part, for now. 

      "But, those questions were personal and I feel like I'm getting too little out of this for all the dirt you're going to get on me." I huff in frustration. What is with this guy and having things be 'even'? "So, I have a proposition." He continues. 

      "What is that?" I question uneasy but almost certain of where this is going. 

      "I'll keep doing the interviews. I'll answer any question you have no matter what it may be. However, you have to sleep with me." 

      "You're crazy." I state hoping to hide the excitement that my primal self is getting off. 

      "No, I'm not. Like I said before, I know you're attracted and don't even deny it. Plus, you get your good grade and some bomb dick while I'm only getting sex. So, it's like a double win for you and only one for me." I scoff at his words.

      "Did you just really say you've got a bomb dick? Cocky much?" 

      He shrugs nonchalantly. "When you know it's the truth, it isn't cocky. Now come on, Thalia. Loosen up, there's nothing wrong with sex." I roll my eyes. What is with people thinking that I'm opposed to sex? I know I have this whole good girl vibe going on because of my focus on school but I enjoy intimacy just as much as the next person. 

      "You know what? You've got a deal. I'm going to show you I'm not some Virgin Mary and when we're done I'll have everything I need and that'll be it. You got it?" A sly grin crosses his face and his sticks out his tongue to moisten his lips. 

      "Crystal." He winks and turns to head off. "See you tonight at 8? My place. Luke will be out." I nod and at that he walks off in the opposite direction. I watch him go and I wrack my brain for an answer as to why I just agreed to that. 

      It's because there is no other way to finish this project. The sensible side of me speaks. 

      No, bitch. It's because he's hot and you want to ride him. Nothing wrong with that. My more promiscuous side voices her opinion and I silence them both. 

      They are both right and honestly I can't wait for tonight. Oh my God, I begin to freak out. I need a pep talk. I need a reminder of what to do. It's been a bit since the last time I slept with someone. What if I don't perform as well as I used to. I need to talk to someone with more expertise. 

       I need to talk to Maz about this.  

Hello my lovelies!! 

I was honestly so excited to write this. Like, Fuckboi Ashton is coming out and tbh I am living for it. Anyway, thanks for the love and support really means so much to see your perverted ass comments on my story like I love it. Anywhore, love you bunches and I hope you enjoyed!

By the way, who's your boy in 5sos?

Mine is Michael but as you can see I swerve right into Ashton's lane about 60 percent of the time I swerve. Sorry not sorry

-S x