You know what? I love you

Part 4

I wake up in the morning and the first thing I feel is dread. It's Monday, so I have to see Michael again. I really don't want to see him today. Every time I think about him I just remember the kiss and it makes me want to kiss him again. I sigh as I climb out of bed and drag myself downstairs.
"Morning Gav." My mum says happily before looking at me and frowning.
"Gav you look like shit. No offence hun." She says and I roll my eyes.
"Thanks mum. I feel like shit to be honest." I mutter as I sit at the breakfast bar.
"What's up?" My mum asks, leaning on the counter opposite me. I sigh.
"I just- I have to go to school which means I have to see Micool but I haven't seen him since our argument and I don't know what's gonna happen and I'm just getting really anxious and I don't really wanna talk to him but obviously the lads are gonna talk to him still and so I'll kind of have to unless I go and sit with someone else but then who am I gonna sit with and the guys will ask why I'm not sitting with them and if Micool sits with someone else then they'll ask me why he isn't sitting with us and also he's in all 3 of my classes today and I wont be able to escape from him and I cant breath-" I cut myself off and try to steady my breathing while my mum walks round the counter, stands next to me and rubs my back. After 10 minutes my breathing has started to calm down but I still feel really on edge and nervous.
"Gav, honey, stay home today, you've got 2 free periods so you'll only be missing 3 lessons, if you're having a panic attack then its not worth the worry. Stay home today and see how you're feeling tomorrow." She says softly, still rubbing my back, and I nod.
"Okay." I mumble, my voice still shaky.

When I feel calmer I go upstairs and grab my phone, texting Geoff to tell him I had a panic attack and wont be coming to school. I get a reply almost instantly.

Geoff-

What happened? Are you okay? What caused it? X

I sigh and reply with two words.

Me-

Ask Michael.

Geoff doesn't reply and I assume he's with the guys, and I resort to playing video games in order to try and keep my mind off of Michael.

Geoffs POV

I sigh as soon as I read Gavins text. What the fuck has Michael done now. I leave when I see the guys get near my house and I see Michael leave his too. When we've all joined Jack looks at me.
"Hey, Where's Gav?" He asks.
"He's not coming in. Had a panic attack this morning." I explain and I see Michael frown. When we get to school I grab Michaels upper arm and pull him aside.
"Michael what did you do?" I ask harshly and he sighs.
"I didn't mean to Geoff. It just sort of happened." He says and I glare at him.
"What just sort of happened?" I ask angrily and he bites his lip.
"Michael what did you do that caused him to have a panic attack?" I ask and he sighs again.
"I kissed him. But I didn't mean to! He was ranting and his breathing was getting abnormally fast and I could see him shaking and I needed to calm him down or he would have had a panic attack so I did the first thing I could think of that would shut him up and that happened to be kissing him." He says and I sigh.
"Michael, I know I said you had to do something but I meant call him not kiss him!"

"I know! I didn't mean to! Anyway he started shouting at me and I left." He says and I frown. Why would he be mad about it? He's in love with Michael so surly kissing him wouldn't be that big of a deal, I mean obviously he's mad at Michael but still. Oh shit.
"Meg." I mumble out loud and Michael looks up at me.
"What?" He asks and I repeat it, thinking out loud, piecing it together.
"Meg. That's why he was pissed off with you. He thought it would hurt Meg because he thought when you kissed him it was like he was cheating on her. He's conflicted because he's basically in love with you so when you kissed him he probably liked it, but then he feels guilty because he's with Meg and he loves her too. That's probably why he had a panic attack, because he would have had to see you both but when he sees Meg he'll feel guilty and when he sees you it will make him feel conflicted and he got too overwhelmed and panicked." I finish my train of thought and Michael looks at me with wide eyes.
"Gavin's in love with me?" He asks and my eyes widen slightly. Fuck. I thought he knew.
"Michael I-" I stutter before sighing. "Yes. But you can't do anything, not while he's with Meg. It's not fair on either of them. Megs done nothing wrong and she loves Gavin too, romantically or platonically, so if you do something that will make her hate him then that's out of order, neither of them deserve that." I say and Michael nods. "I wont."