Prologue

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Friday 6:00am

I honestly don't know when it started....
The memories of you.
I don't know how to explain it, but I've been thinking about you. It's been several years since that day,  but it... seems even now... sitting here next to the gaping hole in the ground. That you.. You still exist.
Maybe I'm insane,  and if so,  I give my regards to the person that found this.  I just need to explain,  why everything happened.
Why you only exist in this hole,  and not me.
Why I think, i should've been the one to go. 

Let me begin with this.  I just wanted you to know... I wasn't ready. You plunged in easy, as if you were ready to make this world your one and only purpose.

It's still hard for me to grasp. One minute we're sitting at a pond playing, and just enjoying everything. When did that turn into me seeing you every where.

We..
We were supposed to be there for each other.... but that's enough of that.   I need to explain.  I need to get this off my chest. I need you to know,  that I didn't intend this to happen.  For your sake, and mine. That hopefully,  after I explain.  The dreams will stop...

I've decided to put everything in my journal.  Hopefully you'll hear my words.....
______________________________________

Alexander's Journal

Monday 6:32am

Um, I don't know why I'm awake this early, it's weird.. I know. It's even weirder that I decided to talk to you, as if you're real,  ha ha just a journal.....
I must be insane....
I've been having dreams lately, not normal dreams,  but weird ones. I've decided, that you'd be the best one I wrote to.
I know I'm jotting everything down right now,  but I know for a fact on the other side of this pen, is a mouth that will guide me to my fate.
I know this is true...
My dreams have told me this.
You might not think that you have an affect on me right now, but I promise you even if I forget this moment.
It is you, the person that eyes the ink I smear within these pages, that will determine my fate.
You just don't realize it yet.

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