i don't want to let my inner self appears since i don't want to look like a crazy person who suddenly screams out of joy.
that is exactly how i want to react right now but no, i need to play cool.
play cool.
i smirk at him as our eyes are still locked to each other. this is the complete opposite of the reaction. i don't even know how do i manage to do that to him.
wow, one award for you, Daeun.
there's a slight surprised expression on him seeing me like this. well, i'm surprised too. i'm actually internally dying.
i'm the one who breaks the gaze between us first and hell do i regret that. i wish i can stare at him forever but i just need to finish my food before the break time is over.
"i'm suddenly full," i mutter but loud enough for Sojung to hear it. "what?" she raises one of her eyebrow, "i haven't even seen you putting the food inside your mouth,"
maybe because of jimin's stare. i thought to myself and smile.
okay, what the hell. brush that off.
"why are you smiling?"
"hm? nothing," i'm trying my best to keep my face straight and keep fighting the strong urge to smile again.
"tell me."
"it's nothing," gosh, please stop it. "do you think i don't know you?" she snaps back.
i don't answer her and shove the food inside my mouth. i'm glad she stops talking though because i really don't want to tell her about it, or else she'd act recklessly. like, screaming or turning around to look at him, even when i tell her not to. yes, that's Sojung, everyone. plus, i don't want to embarrass myself. ever.
・・・
class ended. phew, i don't know why time flies really slow today, even an hour feels like an eternity.
i'm about to go home when suddenly something on my mind reminds me of something i hate.
i have history quiz next week.
thank you so much, brain. such a friendly reminder, eh?
rolling my eyes, i walk to the library with heavy steps. i hate to study in advance, but as people say, it's better to struggle first and be happy afterwards, right?
yeah, i don't want to struggle at the last minute and force my brain to put everything inside. even though that's something that i'd do. oops.
sighing, i walk into the library and i'm hit by the smell that i love. the smell of books. the first thing that i do when i get new books, especially novels, i'll smell it. the smell is satisfying. but some smells like shit. i know how to differentiate it.
goodness gracious, call me weird, but i love the smell of books.
there are some students in the library and the library is as quiet as usual. perfect atmosphere, but i hate to study.
but what can i do? the teacher just had to assign a quiz for us on monday next week, and it's thursday today. i have to study earlier because i suck at history. i'll just try to teach myself later.
scanning through every single shelf, trying to search for the books that i need for the subject, i finally spot one but it's highly the level of my height. i frown as i look up at the book. why life must be so cruel now even my height is a matter? ugh.
i stand on my tip toes, my hand reaching out for the book but it's nearly impossible. i let out a huff softly before struggling to reach out for it again.
that struggling moment ends when suddenly another hand reach out and grab the book. i turn my head around with a confused expression on my face. because who the hell just take it away from me when i'm struggling to get-
"wanting this?" he waves the book in front of my face. i turn my body around, my eyes are still very shook. but i hide them pretty well.
"needing it," i'm still surprised by him. why is he here?
he smiles gently and ruffles my hair before handing the book to me. i grab the book from his hand hesitantly. fangirling mode, please don't come now, i know that just killed you.
"uh, thank you, jimin," i'm avoiding eyes contact with him because i don't want to act crazy right now, i need to study.
"history, huh?" i nod, still not looking at him. "i have the quiz next week, i'm not even good at it," i frustratingly sigh.
he laughs a bit then walks closer to me -even though the distance between us is already close- resting his hand on the shelf behind me.
oh my god, his cologne smells just nice.
"do you need help? i'm good at history," he asks and i look up at him. and you're good at making my heart pounding so fast, too.
boy i swear this will leave some good history between us-
okay stop. answer him.
"oh, sure!" who on mother earth wants to decline this offer? and moreover i really do need some help.
"but don't you have to go back home?" i ask then he shakes his head. "i don't have any plans for today so i decided to stop by the library to read some books, then i found you."
i'm so thankful that he did because if he didn't, i would've given up and go back home.
"let's go find a seat then," he pulls away and i nod.
・・・
it's been almost an hour already but i still don't get a thing. it's just- god i don't know.
"this doesn't make any sense!" i sigh in frustration and knock my head on the table. the storyline just don't get into my mind, my brain can't interpret it.
"focus, daeun. don't stress yourself up, only then you'll get it," he chuckles.
i close my eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again. "okay," he pats my head.
we're not even close and barely even talk, but it feels like we've been friends for so long when i'm with him. i nearly forgot that he's the person that i admire. damn it, jimin.
but i'm glad that i manage to put my fangirl mode aside because i really need to focus right now or else- i'd fail. no way.
jimin taps my forehead and i immediately glance at him. "focus, babygirl."
i'm sorry but wha-
he pinches my nose softly and grins, "i said focus."
i blink a few times and nods slowly. then he continues to explain, very unaware of what he called me just now.
he doesn't even know that i'm dying inside. please help me to survive this moment. but i'm secretly wishing that time will go slower because i don't want this to end.
we studied for three hours. thanks to jimin, history finally makes some sense to me. i hope to understand more-
"do you want me to teach you again tomorrow?" is he a mind reader or what? and doesn't he have anything to do tomorrow? i thought he's always busy with his frie-
"nope, i don't have anything to do tomorrow, if that's what you're wondering, babygirl," okay that is exactly what i'm wondering! and what? babygirl? again? somebody please save my heart.
"s-sure," damn, why am i stuttering? aish.
"see you after school then, babygirl," he ruffles my hair and smiles widely.
