Xavier...
"Xavier... are you ready to present?" The teacher asks, pulling me from my thoughts. I nod, fix my glasses and slowly stand from my seat.
"Hi... I'm Xavier Maurice Brown and this is my inspiration." An image of my father flashes across the screen.
"That looks just like you." A girl says and I nod as I look back at the screen.
"That's my dad. He died when I was five, suicide." I say and a few gasps run through the room. "He's my inspiration because I know that if he was still here he'd want me to do and be my best. Even though people think that suicide is a cowardly way to get out of situations in life I don't see it like that. No one knows what went on in his head, I don't, my step mom doesn't. The only one who knew was himself and possibly my biological mother. She used to play with his emotions all the time and in the end this is what it resulted in." I take a deep breath and fiddle with my fingers. "He's my inspiration because he made sure that I was fine and so were my other siblings at all times-"
"But when he killed himself he can't make sure you're living fine." A kid in the back says and I nod my head.
"That's true but I can't blame him for what he did. Like I said before I don't know how depressed he was and neither do you." I speak directly to the kid and he slumps in his seat. "He fought a custody battle with my mother and ended up loosing so I guess that's what pushes him to the edge. He used to teach here, in this classroom twelve years ago. All of his students he'd ever had attended the funeral so when I die I want to be remembered like him. He's not remembered as a broken soul or a suicide victim, he's remembered as almost a legacy that's left something behind in all the people he's ever been in contact with when he passed." I finish and look over at my teacher. She gives me a small smile before clapping her hands together.
"Well done X, you can go ahead and take a seat." She says and I nod, putting my head down as I walk back to my spot. I slip into the chair and grab my pen and continue doodling on my notebook paper. I zone out once more as I become engaged in the drawing. The bell rings loudly capturing my attention and I shove my belongings into my book bag. I toss it over my shoulder and shuffle out of the room.
"Xavier!" A feminine voice calls and I slowly turn on my heel. My girlfriend runs up to me, her little legs moving as fast as they could, making me chuckle. "Why do you have to be so tall! You take three steps and you're at the other end of the school." She pants as she flips her box braids from in her face.
"Sorry, in tryna get out of here." I say as I wrap a arm around her waist. She side eyes me and I laugh once more. "What?" I ask and she gives me her little eye roll.
"What? You're trying to get out of here so you must've forgotten that you said you're taking me home." She said and I push the front doors open.
"I did, I'm sorry baby." I apologize as I let her walk out in front of me.
"Mhm..." She sasses and walks down the steps. Her hips switch from side to side as her heeled feet carry her to my car.
"Remind me to carry an extra pair of sweats in my bag from now on." I say and she furrows her perfect brows.
"Why?" She asks and I swat her ass before unlocking the car doors.
"Because them shorts got your ass all out there. That's for my eyes only." I say and she pouts as she rubs the spot that I hit.
"They're not even that short!" She complains as I pull her door open for her.
"Yeah I know but that ass ain't that small." I say before shutting the door behind her. I round the car before slipping in myself and starting it up.
"You're such an ass." She giggles and I laugh.
"Cause I don't want niggas seeing what's mine? Nah baby." I say before pulling out of the parking lot. I hit the button to roll up the windows and start the air conditioning.
"How was classes?" I ask and she shrugs. I glance over at her and lick my lips.
"The were okay, boring as always. I'm so happy this is our last year." She says and I nod.
"Yeah... ready to get on with life. My sisters been driving me crazy." I chuckle and she lets out a little giggle. Her smooth chocolate hand rests itself on my thigh and I give her a side eye. "Don't start." I smirk and she batts her lashes.
"What? You know my parents are on vacation... you could come over for a little while." She says and I shake my head as I turn onto her street.
"I'm tired and you know how to wear a nigga out. This weekend baby, I'll come and stay with you." I say and she grasps my free hand.
"Fine." She pouts as she interlocks our fingers. I raise our hands and kiss her knuckles before sending her a wink. The rest of the ride is short and I pull into her driveway.
"Let me walk you to the door." I say as I unstrap myself. I step out and go around to open her door. She grasps my hand and stands from her seat. We walk up to her door and I wait for her to unlock it to release her hand. "I'll see you tomorrow, text me if you need me to pick you up in the morning." I say and she nods. I grip her chin softly and lift her face up before bending down to kiss her lips.
"Love you." She said softly and I smile.
"I love you baby." I say before stepping down the steps. I get back into the car and honk twice before she waves and disappears into the house. Sighing, I turn on the radio and make my way home.
"Hi bubby!"Jayla smiles as o walk through the front door.
"Hey ma! Where's mom?" I ask and she points towards the kitchen. Bending down I kiss her cheek before making my way there. "Hi." I smile causing Jen to turn around.
"Hey, how're you?" She asks as she gives me a small smile.
"Good, tired." I say and she nods.
"I bet you are... Are you going to visit your mom this weekend?" She also and I shake my head.
"Nah..." When I was fourteen I made the decision that I'd rather live with Jennie rather than my mom. My mother was so far up that mans ass that she'd forget I was even there. She hated to look at me, even though the never said it I could tell that's what it was. She didn't want me, I reminded her to much of my father. That's why she let me go with such ease. Nine months after dad passed Jayla was born. Of course she looked like my father, his genes were entirely to strong.
"Alright." She says and turns back to the food. I snag an apple from the fruit bowl and head up the stairs. When I get to my room I shut the door and plop on my bed. I sigh deeply and lay back and close my eyes. Things haven't been the same since I lost my father, they never will be. Sometimes I wonder how many kids he would have now. How would he be when it came to Norah having a boyfriend? Would him and Jen be married, would they have been broken up? All these questions will forever be unanswered but that's just something that I'd have to live with. Opening my eyes I smile a bit. I knew my mind was playing tricks on me but I seen my father, smiling standing in my doorway. He shows his pearly whites and stands up straight. 'I love you.' He mouths before he fades away.
"I love you." I whisper before turning to my side and closing my eyes, letting the much needed sleep take over me.
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Guys lets tally up how many books I've finished so far... okay so Sex Hotline and its sequel, He's Just A Little Twisted, Dangerously Obsessed, Body Movin' and this one! I didn't realize how many books that I have until now. I have to finish up The Descendants, which only has like for chapter left, Crossing Roads, After Dark and The Eyes That Glow. I'm not gonna start any new books until those are finished. Oh and I also forgot my newest one, Grand Theft Auto. Thank you guys for reading this book and I hope you've enjoyed it! 💜
