Woven Desires [Completed]

Almost There

He closed his eyes, but mine remained wide open. I saw him lean forward, and I panicked. As soon as I felt the warmth of his breath, I shut my eyes closed and stood up briskly.

"I... Um..."

Fortunately that was when the bus came. Unfortunately, we had to take it together sitting side by side in an awkward silence. He felt the embarrassment of rejection, I felt like disappearing. 

It suddenly became so real. This thing with Orson was not just fantasy, it was happening. I started wondering about how many other girls he had kissed, would I just be one among many? Would he be faithful to me? I thought about Kenneth and Lady again.

"Mum?" I didn't see her when I entered the house.

"Oui?" I heard her voice from upstairs.

I went up to meet her, she was in her room arranging a few things.

"Mummy," I whined as soon as I saw her.

"What's wrong ma chérie?" She stopped what she was doing, went to sit on the bed and tapped it.

"Orson said he likes me," I sat beside her.

"Il a fait quoi?! (He did what?) How could he? Want me to beat him up for you?"

"Maman."

"Sorry," she chuckled. "So, what's the problem. Don't you like him too? If you don't, just be upfront about it."

"No, it's not that. I just... I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"I don't know," I laid on the bed talking as I looked at the cieling. "What if it doesn't end well? What if he hurts me?"

"Ah. I see what's going on."

Mum laid on her back as well, then she turned to lay on her side and asked me to face her.

"I don't think I ever told you that before I met your dad I had a fiancé."

"Huh?" I raised my brows. "You?"

"Yeah," she giggled. "I knew other men before I met your father. When I met him I had a fiancé. But even when I knew he was hitting on me, I didn't tell him about it. Though after a few encounters your dad asked if I had a boyfriend and I said no."

"Mum!"

"What? A fiancé is not a boyfriend," she used her innocent voice. "Bref (Anyway/signaling change of topic), your dad came to France for a special course in architecture. We spent a lot of time together during the few months he spent there, and when it came time for him to go," she paused a bit, as a nostalgic expression covered her face, "I followed him."

"Just like that?"

"Well, I'm leaving out all the details, but basically that's what happened. Every other thing seemed meaningless if he wasn't with me. I knew he was the one. So, no matter how scared I was, I met up with him at the airport, and I never regretted my decision. Not everyday was perfect, but those were the happiest moments of my life." 

She sat up, and pulled me up as well.

"Ma chérie, the truth is, not everyone gets the chance to experience true love. It's a special gift, offered once. The same way lightning doesn't strike the same place twice. It's almost impossible to have true love twice in a lifetime. So when you get it, when you know you have it, you should hold on, never let it go. But you'll never get it, if you're too scared to reach out for it. I'm hoping that one day you'll find your own. Maybe it's Orson, maybe it's not, but you'll never know if you just sit back because you're too scared. You're still so young, don't fill yourself with worry."