Love on the Scale

Chapter Twelve

"...Neil..."

It was just a whisper. Soft light showed itself through the bay window. My eyes were still shut, I was half awake, my heart beating loud. My mind was there, aware, but in a cocoon of solitude. The night before flooded my mind; Neil, and those eyes; his smell. I let out a deep, content sigh and opened my eyes. I didn't move. I just lay there on my back, staring at the ceiling.

The street outside was the usual quiet, except for the tired hum of morning traffic. A pigeon cooed, a raspy, desperate sound... and then, nothing.

Nothing, that is, until I bolted out the bed; it was after eight. I found James in the kitchen, in his usual seat, a cup of coffee in one hand and spooning his breakfast into his mouth with the other. I glared at him.

"What's wrong with you? You didn't call or anything- I was worried about you! I went to bed after one, waiting for you."

"Oh, hi," he said, with a mouthful of Apple Jacks. "I was going to wake you up this morning, but you were sleeping with this enormous cheesy grin on your face. I wasn't about to wake that up. Thought I'd eat something first, then come get you. What on earth were you dreaming about?"

My mouth flopped open and closed as I searched for an excuse. "It... Must have been my mind re-playing a comedy clip I watched online last night," I lied.

"Chris, a smile from you, especially before a cup of coffee, is like rain in a desert... Must have been some dream." His laugh was cheeky, like he knew. I changed the subject.

"You. Where have you been sneaking off to every night? It's like you don't even live here anymore."

James choked on a Jack.

"You okay?" This time I was the one laughing, as I figured it out. "What's her name?"

"Chris, we're gonna be late. Go get dressed." James got up and placed his mug and plate in the sink.

"Ah, so it's an affair?"

"No!" He looked at me, shocked. "She's single." I laughed again. He rolled his eyes, and started towards the door.

"Bring her on Saturday night. Neil's taking me out somewhere and you and Miss Whodunnit-to-you are coming."

James looked surprised. "What? Neil asked you out on a date? You mean he plucked up the courage to finally do it?"

"It's not a date. It's more like a pity parade. Him trying to boost my confidence, make me feel like I'm not just my hunky flesh. I know, hard to believe."

"Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Treat yourself like a failure?" He went quiet, and then said, "You can't keep the Spring from coming."

What was that? This love affair was softening James' brain, making him recite what sounded like poetry... and not just in front of her... he just used it on me. What did that even mean?

"I'll be ready in five." I said, walking out.

* * * * *

The only thing that could spoil my day was people. And they were everywhere that day. Their energy sapped me every time one walked past. I ducked into the closet, slipped past Maggie, and into a small dressing room. Left alone, I repaired a trouser zip and added more pencil strokes to my masterpiece. I knew it would never be the winner. Someone like me never won a competition like this; never even won a fiver on the Lotto. Luck was not my strong suit.

My solitude didn't last long.

"Chris. I know you're in here... I see your shoes." I could hear Neil's laughter, as he tried to subdue it.

"It's not Chris. It's someone else. Go away." I bit my lip too hard and tasted blood. "Ouch!"

"Ouch, what? You okay in there?"

"Why is it that every time you come in here, you make me bleed?"

He drew the curtain back and handed me a hanky.

"You carry one of these?" I said, looking at it, bewildered. "What decade are you from? Shakespeare?"

He chortled and it was like rain after a drought. I was losing my mind. "What do you want? I'm busy."

"I wanted to see you."

"Why?"

"Have you got an answer for me yet... About what I asked you last night?"

"No! Now leave me alone." That wasn't what I wanted to say. I wanted to throw myself into his arms. But I could have squished him.

"Okay." His brows drew together, and he rocked back on his feet. "So you're still thinking about it then?"

"I said I would." No, no no! I mean yes! Yes, I'll go out with you!

There was a slight pause, and then he said, "I need coffee."

"See ya." And he was gone.