Advice And Random Things I Write

Advice 3 (important)

Ok so there are alot of people out in the world who is suffering some kind of depression or harms themselves.

This chapter is dedicated to them, maybe to someone you know or maybe to thoes who've been thinking of doing this.

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First off im going to tell you a bit about myself. Just brace yourselfs. This is a long part. After this i will be going onto what i do for alternatives and other things you guys could do.

I was once a self harmer myself. I have only been clean for a 2 months and a few days now but i am recovering. I have been harming myself for a little over a year now. Im in year 10 and im 16 years old.

I first started cutting because of bullying. I was bullied at school since year 2. I have been bullied for 10 years now.

Year 2
Year 3
Year 4
Year 4
Year 5
Year 6
Year 7
Year 8
Year 9
Year 10

You may have noticed there are two year 4s there. That is because i repeated that grade.

I didnt have any friends from year 2 to year 6. During thoes 5 years i was always in the library reading books or i would be helping teachers out in the playground. I hated being out there. I guess you could call me a teachers pet.

I was always a quiet person. I was shy and hated being in the center of attention. My so called friends all left me one day. I cant remember why but evertime i went anywhere close they would always run away from me. At first i thought it was all fun and games but i soon realised that they just didnt want me.

Over the years i was bullied. I was never physically bullied but i was teased, blackmailed, and i was always getting told what to do. Somethings ill never be able to forget because they will always be forever imprinted on the back of my mind.

In my second year of year 4 and year 5 i was used. People (girls) would say that if i gave them food i could hang out with them. Because i was stupid, i listened. I gave them my food but when it came to the break times they would always run away from me.

Eventually i gave up. I refused to give them my food but somehow they always stole it from my bag.

Time skip to highschool.

So now im in highschool. I didnt have any friends for half a year because i never trusted anyone. Eventually one girl who was in my classes talked to me. She was nice and that. I talked to her in class but i didnt hang around with her or her group of friends for a while. Eventually i warmed up to her and trusted her enough to hang around with her. There i met the friends i have today. During that year and years after that i still did get bullied but they weren't as bad as primary school.

Year 9 came around and thats when things started getting worse. 2 specific girls in my grade would always laugh, tease and call me names. At home i also got teased. My younger brothers bullied me as well. I know its werid. I shouldnt listen to 11 and 6 year old boys but they are my brothers. Wouldnt you feel the same? I was always having to do everything. Look after my younger brothers and sometimes cook dinner and wash the dishers. I always got into trouble for everything that went wrong

Towards the end of term 3, i turned to self harm. I loved it. It helped me through everything. Through the bulling. Through the teasing. Everything. Later i decided to ask a teacher for help. I trusted her alot. I told her about what i was going through. I told her that my mum didnt know but i wanted to tell her but i wasnt sure how and that if she could find some way to help me tell her. Unfortunately The next day after school mum got home saying that she got a call from the school about my self harming.