Dear Diary {Andley}

Chapter 9

Dear Diary, 

Ashley just makes me so happy, he was the light at the end of my tunnel. He made me laugh harder then I ever had, smile bigger, and feel loved. We had been on multiple dates since the first time he asked me out. I would have never guessed Ashley was so cheesy and romantic. You are hearing it first from the Andrew Denis Biersack, Ashley is a romantic man. He even took me out to this nice fancy restaurant the other night. The best thing yet was he asked me to be his boyfriend! I actually have a boyfriend! Okay yeah we haven't kissed yet but we do hold hands together everywhere we go. Plus it's better if we didn't rush our relationship with kissing. 

"Hey love how was your day?" Ashley asked leaning against the locker next to mine.

"It was actually wonderful. I learned something in math today and I hate not hateful sign plastered on my locker. I think today is one to write down in the books. How was yours?" I smiled running my hands through my hair. 

"Better now that I saw your beautiful face." I giggled softly lacing my fingers with his. This day couldn't get any better.

"Hey fagots." Troy laughed pushing me against the locker. I stand corrected it did get better. 

"Hey leave him alone Troy before you have to answer to me." Ashley said glaring at Troy.

"Please Ashley it's fine." I whispered to him. There was no way that I wanted him in the middle of this battle. 

"You better stop talking Ashy before I tell your beloved boy toy what you used to do before he got here." Troy smirked.

"You wouldn't dare." Ashley tensed up seeming very bothered by Troy's words. 

"Try me."

"What does he mean?" I asked Ashley not even caring that I was still pressed against a locker by Troy.

"It's nothing Andy really." Ashley dodged. 

"He never told you about how he used to beat up little emo bitches like you. He used to stand right by my side and laugh as we punched those worthless pieces of shit in the face." Troy laughed. "He's probably only dating you because he feels sorry about all the other emos he beat up."

I was shocked and mortified that the one person I had gotten close to caused others pain. He was so nice and caring...He understood the pain I was going through. How could I trust a man who bullied others for no reason. I liked him, I liked him a lot, I still do. But I can't be with a person who did those things. Yeah people change, but do they really change on the inside. What happens if I get on his nerves one day and he just decides to pound my face in. He did it to other people so what make me believe he wouldn't do it to me. 

"Andy please I can explain." Ashley pleaded with me. 

I didn't want to hear his side of the story. It does not make it right to beat up someone for just the way a person looks. Troy and Ashley were both the same, cold hearted bullies. They could care less about my feelings, maybe Troy was right about Ashley only dating me because he felt guilty. I just had to think about everything. Troy let me go after a few minutes feeling satisfied with the damage he done. I ignored Ashley while he tried to explain his story to me, not like I wanted to hear it right now. I did the most logical thing, I walked out of hell and went home.

My phone had been going off every minute from when I walked home till now. I knew it was Ashley but I just did not have it in me to talk to him. He lied to me and somehow wormed his way into my heart. How could someone be so nice but be such a monster. With that my phone went off again. Maybe I would just answer, but if I did would I really want to hear what he had to say? Would I be mad at him? Should I forgive him? Maybe Troy was lying and this was all a misunderstanding. 

"Andy? Andy! Please don't hang up on me let me explain what happened." Why did I answer  the phone? 

"I know you probably hate me after what Troy said and I know what I did was so so wrong. I wish I could take it back every second of the day but I can't and now I have to live with this guilt of knowing I made someone's life hell. I was just so angry with the world after my parents died. I had no idea what was right from wrong, what was up or down. I just took my anger out on the first thing I saw. It was one time that I caused pain to someone and Troy just happened to be there when it happened. I know that it isn't an excuse and what I did was wrong but please don't take me out of your life because of this. You have been the best thing that has came into my life and I will be damned if I just let you walk out now." Ashley took a breath letting the phone go silent. I know he was waiting for me to say something, but I had no idea what to say. 

"Andy?" Ashley said his voice cracking slightly. He was crying. 

"It was only one time?" I asked sighing softy.

"Yes, Yes it was only once. I promise that it has and never will happen again. 

I sighed again running my hand through my hair. "It's okay Ashley...I won't leave you because of this." 

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I will make this up to you I promise." I could here the smile in his voice. 

He didn't know that I couldn't just kick him out of my life. He was the only thing that was keeping me tied to this world. To this life. I was like a balloon caught in the trees just waiting for that one big gust of wind to let me go and float away. 

Sincerely,

Andy 12/20/15