Chapter 6

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Even

It's Friday. No matter how much I want to go out and hangout with him I can't cause he hates me. That's why he called, my brain tells me, to tell you he hates you and wants to break up. I believed my brain cause no matter how hard I try to come up with another explanation, it's not as true as how my brain says it.

I was laying there thinking of what to do. That's when my brain says the one thing I always keep in the back of my mind. The one thing I try so hard to forget but it keeps coming up to the surface... Do it again.

I look at myself in the mirror and get my clothes on. Before I obey what my brain tells me to do, I open up the drawer and there sits the one thing I need to complete the request... Pain killers. My heart skips a beat when I take the bottle and hear the pills shake. I don't want to but my brain is telling me yes.

I try with every piece of strength whether it be mental or physical to not open them. I tell myself I'll go for a walk before I do. I set down the bottle, take my jacket, and walk out into the world. The world I'll be leaving when I come back home and... do it again.

Before I know it I'm at the school in the bathroom. The bathroom where we first met. The bathroom where I said those words. The bathroom where we both knew that something good was going to come toward us.

I was sitting across from the door but near the towel dispenser, where I replayed our first encounter. Where I took all the paper towels and that face that he made when I did. I wanted to kiss him cause he was and is still so cute.

I'm not making sense, but my brain is starting to get impatient. My brain wants me to hurry up while I still have time and do it.

That's when I saw myself on default hovering over Isak's contact. I pushed the text button and started typing. When I was happy with how it sounded, I sent it. I didn't know what was going to come out of all this but one thing I knew for sure was... There was no turning back now.


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