✨Adopted by Sangwoo✨

Chapter 3 - Household

Holy shit I haven't been here in a while.
Well it's me and I'm back and edgier than ever. Anyway, I really ought to get back to this story.

I couldn't believe a human could express such happiness... well, yoonbum looked like he was forcing a smile. He scares me, he looks like he's constantly worried that sangwoo is going to hang him and wank over his leg or something.

"Doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot" sangwoo said rhythmically as he hopped across the floor like a small bird. He opened a wardrobe (which was kind of crusty) and then opened a hatch inside. "Look! I already have a spare room you could stay in!" He looked so exited that me, being the stupid person I am, simply had to walk down the extremely suspicious stairs. "This is pretty dank, have you got a speaker so I can blast my shitty music to annoy the shit out of everyo-"

*click*

The hatch closed.

I heard the strangely high pitched laugh of sangwoo, the evil radiating from it culminating into a being for three seconds only to punch me in the diaphragm.

"Are you sure we should have kidnapped her? I mean, she's the protagonist of this fanfiction which is labelled as romance, so she'll probably hook up with one of us..." -said the muffled voice of yoonbum, speaking only the truth. "Nah," replied wangsoo, "this is adopted by sangwoo, not SaNgWoO x ReAAaDeR oWO"

"Kidnapped?????" I yelled, "who's saying I'm a kid I may actually be an elderly buff alpha male inside of a costume but you don't know that."
"Aye shot up yaeve done ben kednapped,"
"Oi?? Kednapped? Aye shite aim gunna hav teh get outta herre"
But I could not get out.
Fuck.
Unlike Jumin's kinky ending, this was not fun.

"Wait, isn't this illegal?" I called up,
"Well of course" sangwoo replied with somewhat swagginess, "im not stupid"
"SUCC MY NUTS YOU JIGGLY DONG", I called up in absolute anguish.

I could not believe it. I had actually been kidnapped.
The worst thing is I left my phone with Sangwoo by accident, so I was absolutely petrified that he would look at my wattpad history...
Can you even get wattpad on a Nokia? Well I could, because my Nokia is a godsend.
Suddenly, I heard a ringing sound, was Sangwoo... on the phone?
"Yes hello? Oh yeah, uhhhhhhh" he said, "can I get a motherfukin uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh buRGER"
"Sangwoo," Yoonbum whispered sharply, "this is Pizza Hut they don't sell fuckin burgers."
"Oh yeah,"
"Yeah that's right you fucking noodle psychopath. Now, can I have a pineapple pizza and-", Yoonbum muttered sassily.
However, his talking came to an abrupt end when Sangwoo ended the phone call and ate his phone, "don't you sass me, Bum," he said, in-between crunches, "you know what bum, I'm gonna have to punish you, if you know what I mean," he says, making a Lenny face and wiggling his eyebrows, after finally swallowing the crunched up phone.
Both Yoonbum and I knew exactly what he meant, and whilst I could practically hear Yoonbum already nutting, I was absolutely devastated that I couldn't use this as inspiration to write Jevi smut, because Sangwoo STILL had my Nokia.
However, Sangwoo suddenly turned the tables, "yeah, get back into the fuckin basement you salty little onion.", Sangwoo spoke coldly, his words like a calippo smacking you in the face.
I watched whilst cronching on some popcorn as Sangwoo opened the basement door and yeeted Yoonbum in.

"Hi" I said awkwardly,
"Sorry" Yoonbum said, kind of awkwardly but not really.
I sat wondering for a few seconds if saying sorry was a greeting before getting bored because I didn't have my phone, which was the entire culmination of my existence.

However, little did I know, Yoonbum turned out to be quite good company...