Lauren/You Imagines

imagine - f o u r t e e n

AN: You're in 5H

Lauren's P.O.V.

It was the second last day of this tour and everything was starting to get to me more than ever today.

All of the stress for constantly having to be good enough for our fans and doing a great performance for them nearly every night had me on edge for so long.

I knew I was distancing and isolating from the girls a lot but I didn't want to snap at them and regret anything that I would say. The littlest thing could set me off and it wouldn't be fair on them.

I knew it was having an impact on each and every one of them though. Especially my girlfriend Y/N.

I regret it but I can't help it. In fear of hurting her I just end up hurting her even more and I can't help it.

Every time I push her away when she's excited about something that a fan said or gave her or she just wants to talk I see the hurt and the pain and the sadness in her eyes. But she just smiles it off and backs away.

We haven't spoken normally, and by normally, I mean outside of meet and greets and interviews and all of that, for about a week now.

I catch her staring at me from a far or looking at me and I catch the emotions that are all trapped inside her eyes but never written anywhere else on her face. And it kills me that I'm the reason for all her fake smiles to the girls and fans and I'm the one causing her all this pain.

But my stupid self just keeps on screwing everything up.

It was like this until Y/N finally snapped on the last day of tour.

*flashback*

The girls and I had finished performing a few hours ago and we were all celebrating for another successful tour, well at least they were.

I was sat in mine and Normani's shared hotel room while the others were in Dinah and Ally's.

I was on my phone and I heard the door open. I looked up to see Y/N standing there.

"Laur?" Y/N asked in a questioning type of tone.

I didn't say anything I just looked up at her. She took this as a sign to come in a sit on the edge of the bed.

"What's wrong?" Y/N asked sweetly.

"Nothing," I said in almost a whisper.

"Lauren, what's wrong?" Y/N's tone changed to a more stern sounding tone.

"Nothing," I raised my voice starting to get annoyed.

"Oh sure nothing's wrong, just let me sit here and believe it," She was being sarcastic with me which got me more irritated.

"I'm telling the truth so you should believe me! What don't you trust me to not tell you the truth?"

"No, don't you even start with me about not trusting you when you haven't even spoken to me for a week!" Y/N's voice was raised now.

"You don't understand!"

"Then help me understand Lauren, what has gotten into you lately? There has to be something wrong, someone just doesn't go around ignoring their girlfriend!" Y/N snapped, I deserved it though I just couldn't calm down, "D-do you still want to be together Lauren?"

Y/N's face had softened now and she had doubt in her eyes.

I wanted to say I still did but I couldn't find it in me to calm down, my stupid pride and ego got in the way of everything all of the time.

"Well maybe I don't," I half blurted out in a harsh tone.

"Laur-"

"Leave me alone Y/N. I'm done. Just leave," I could see the tears welling in her eyes and she got up and left.

*end of flashback*

I wanted to get up and stop her from leaving. I wanted to say that I didn't mean what I had said.

Maybe if I had then Y/N wouldn't have gone for a drive to our special place to calm down.

Maybe if I had then I wouldn't be sitting here in the hospital crying my eyes out, while Y/N lays there fighting for her life after being hit by a semi-trailer.

I know I have no right to cry, I blame myself for Y/N being here.

But I love her.

So much.

I can't lose her.

Y/N please, I need you.

AN: Part 2???

I used to write a lot of sad imagines before I found happiness in life so I'll write happier fluff ones later :)

thank you for over 3K reads cuties x

20 days til Fifth Harmony and my parents still don't know I'm going ahah

- brooke xx