The Squonge Fic

4-RIP Spongebob

Squidward sauntered into town, searching around for the distinct yellow sponge. Should I put up missing posters? he wondered. He soon realized he has somehow ventured through the entire town four times without once spotting Spongebob. Spongebob wasn't even in Bikini Bottom?

Squidward sighed as he left for his house, the sun setting and leaving behind a trail of stars bedazzling the night sky. This was concerning. Spongebob must have left town suddenly, but why would he do that?

Over the next few days, Squidward called all his relatives and friends located everywhere in the deep blue sea. None of them had seen or heard Spongebob.

"Could it be?" realized Squidward. "That he went on land?" They had experienced going on land quite a few times before, but all experiences had ended badly. Spongebob definitely needed water to survive, so if he was on land, then by now he'd be...dead.

Squidward shook the morbid thought from his mind. He couldn't imagine a life without Spongebob. He didn't even know why he cared about him so much, he just does. Squidward decided that the least he could do for his missing friend was make a grave and hold a little funeral for him.

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Squidward slowly engraved a headstone with Spongebob's name on it and stuck it in the ground in the spooky graveyard filled to the brim with countless graves. He didn't want to invite anyone because that would be too cruel to break the news to them like that. They should live in happy oblivion for a little while longer before news gets out that Spongebob is most likely dead...

Squidward sniffed and lay a bouquet of bright yellow flowers on his grave.

In town, everyone and everything seemed to be even more gleeful than usual, as if mocking him. The clams jubilantly chirped in the fresh morning air, the boats were merrily humming as ecstatic fish-people drove them towards thrilling destinations, and even the sun contentedly shone upon them, making the sky appear bluer and brighter than it had ever been.

Squidward sighed and grumpily sat down on a bench, no ounce of bliss inside of him. It was like nobody even cared except for him. He tried to distract himself by picking up a newspaper. The headlines were all about fish politics, his least favorite topic.

Squidward decided to go home instead of having to deal with the disgusting radiant smiles everyone was proudly displaying on their faces.

There, he saw a familiar yellow sponge.

"Is that...? No, it's can't be!" exclaimed Squidward. "Spongebob! You're alive!"

"Of course I am," Spongebob clarified, raising an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Wha-you we're gone for two weeks!"

"Yeah, I took a vacation," disclosed Spongebob. "Gary and I had a great time! Right, Gary?"

"Meow," contributed Gary as he crawled back to Spongebob's pineapple-shaped house.

Spongebob happily pranced back into his house, leaving Squidward dumbfounded and utterly confused. Why did he feel so relieved to see Spongebob's annoying face?