hereafter, hereafter

perception

dedicated to yazzy. your writing, yas. it amazes me to no ends. you're a talented writer, and a very sweet person. thanks for publishing and sharing your stories with the world. 

unedited and rushed

i know that

when someone reads 

something of this sort

they aren't thinking 

about what i was feel

ing when i wrote it all

down. the feelings in

side of me thrashing 

and driving me mad

and mad

and 

i just don't feel comfo

rtable lately knowing th

at there are people taki

ng my heartache for gr

anted just reading and

not knowing the emotion

behind all this shit and

not even knowing the 

full story. one day i

ll be able to tell ever

yone the truth behin

d the crypticism of t

his entire collection

of words but until th

en ill leave you with 

this. 

recklessly, i show

ed this to a comp

anion of mine and

she said, "this is

beautiful, xavier." 

and i politely sai

d "thank you." b

ut it was still a t

iny bit unerving t

o know that peop

le can find your s

adness poetic w

hen all it really is

sad.  

that was then. 

and for now, i'm so glad

i can safely say that

i'm not sad anymor

e. not of recent hav

e i felt like crumblin

g away but instead

i want to flourish. 

for her. for my mom

my sisters and my

friends and my teac

hers even. i want an

ything but their attem

pts at shaping me to

be for that of naught. 

please just keep going

i promise there's som

eone rooting you on.