Playing The Player

:Chapter Thirty:

Blake's POV

I had no idea where I was going, but I knew why I was going.

Leaving the party just because Hayleigh was flirting with my half brother made me sound like some dramatic whiner. It wasn't the only reason, of course. The party sucked because... there wasn't enough alcohol. There weren't enough girls showing skin. The music sucked.

Or you know, because the girl I wanted to see had turned up and started throwing herself at my half brother.

Blake Carter, you're a fucking girl.

I kicked a stray rock angrily as I walked down some street. I honestly wasn't paying any attention to where I was going, but I didn't care. What had I turned into? I never imagined myself even liking a girl for more than a night, let alone want to be with her seriously. It was like Hayleigh had some kind of weird magic shit, and she was bewitching me with her cute smiles and her awkward movements.

I looked up to see where my feet were taking me, and there I stood, outside Hayleigh's house. It almost annoyed me, how even when I wasn't thinking about it, my brain still wanted to see her. There were things I wanted to say, and I wanted to say them just so she knew how I felt. But at the same time, I would screw everything else up.

Royally.

Chastising myself for being such a scared son of a bitch, I rang the doorbell. I could hear the melodious tune float through her house.

Melodious tune float through her house. Mother fucker, there really was something wrong with me.

She opened the door, wrapped in some soft duvet and I immediately had the urge to hug her, which was, well, scary. What sort of a creeper sees a girl and has an urge to hug her? I wondered if I was going crazy.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Hayleigh blurted out before I could say anything, "I didn't mean whatever you thought I did, and I had no idea you had a brother."

"Half brother," I mumbled. I cleared my throat. "Can I come in?"

She nodded, and opened the door wider for me, before leading the way to her bedroom, the duvet trailing behind her like a long robe or something. The anger that I had felt earlier disappeared as I imagined her playing dress ups.

I settled myself on the foot of her bed as she made herself comfortable. She looked at me expectantly and my mouth suddenly went dry; what the fuck was I meant to say? How did these things even work? I knew how to charm them, how to make them believe whatever I wanted them to, but being honest with them wasn't one of my finer points, and lying to Hayleigh was just out of the question.

"Ireallylikeyou," I said quickly, immediately feeling a lot better that the words were out.

Unfortunately for me, Hayleigh didn't even know what the words were.

"Sorry, what did you say?" She asked, confused.

I counted to ten in my head, and yes, I was resorting to those control-your-emotions techniques. The next thing you know, I'd be lying face down while essence was being burned. "I," I said slowly, "really like you."

She began to say something, but I interrupted her.

"I've never been in so deep before so I don't know how to say these things, but I really like you, maybe even... The point is, I don't know if it's still a game for you right now but it hasn't been for me. I've been pretending and hoping that I would just understand what was happening to me, and the thing that was happening to me was you. It sounds completely overrated and cliché and all that, but you've changed me. I don't want to sleep with a girl whose name I don't even know anymore, I don't want to flirt with other girls anymore, all I want is you and I know I haven't acted like it but it's true."

Holy fuck.

She stared at me for a few seconds. Or it might've been a few minutes, a few hours. They all seemed the same to me. When she opened her mouth to speak, my fists clenched. I could see that she was incredibly confused, and the last time I was this worried was when I was five and had to go to the dentist.

I swear, the dentist was a fucking creeper.

"Blake," Hayleigh said slowly, "I really like you. I just need time to think right now. I can't... I need... I just... you just have to give me space for now." She averted her eyes, turning to the side so she couldn't see me walk out the door.

Give her space? What the fuck did that even mean? How long? How much space? To say I was pissed about being confused was an understatement; I hated feeling like I was in the dark. It certainly wasn't this complicated with the other girls. Those other one-night relationships were mainly ones that didn't involve talking.

But those other girls weren't Hayleigh.

I wrenched the front door of her house open, stumbling down the front lawn. Leaning against the front gate, I breathed in and out heavily. She had rejected me. She had told me that she needed space, and it was obvious that she didn't want to spend time with me anymore.

It was all just a game.

A sudden surge of anger taking over me, I turned brutally to the cemented gate and punched it. Spikes of pain shot through my knuckles and in the dim light of the streetlights, I could see blood trickling down my fist.

I didn't feel it, though. I couldn't feel anything.

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Hey you, yes you with the face, you're fucking AMAZING. :)