problems // ben tyler cook

Chapter Eleven

Since there's only so much time before the holidays arrive, Ben and I decided that I would meet Emma and the Newsies all in one night.

But of course, I had to have rehearsal on my Monday off so I had to be late to Ben's apartment.

I somehow manage to braid my hair in the car- I seriously don't suggest it, I almost died a few times- and made it to Ben's in record time.

I go right in, since I know the door is unlocked. I smile at everyone in the living room as I come in, dropping my bag in the same place I always do.

"Hi everyone. Sorry I'm late, I had rehearsal."

"You're a queen." Stephanie fake cries, sprawled out over Chaz and Zack's laps.

"Steph, actually shut up." Josh snaps, and then swiftly slides in front of me. "Hello, I am Joshua, Ben's best friend."

"We've met before, Josh." I laugh, but greet him ether way.

I sit between Ben and Emma as everyone is shot into their own conversations. I make sure to talk to Emma a lot, because I need her to like me at least a little bit.

"And I saw you as Belle, and I actually just found out that I saw you as Cinderella. Oh my god, girl, you can sing!" Emma laughs. "I wish I had musical talent."

"I've seen videos of you dancing though, and you're amazing." I respond. "I mean, at least you have Ben to dance with. No one else in my family has any musical or dancing talent, although I am forcing my sister into dance class."

Emma laughs. "Yeah, but Ben's a really bad dancer."

He snaps his head around. "I fucking heard that."

"Good." Emma snaps back, which makes me giggle.

Ben gives both of us a look before turning back to his conversation with Josh.

At some point, about a thousand boxes of pizza arrive and are set on the table, and Ben silently forces me to eat at least two slices.

It's frustrating, but I know he wants me to be healthy. Emma strays from her seat beside me and I do the same, now getting pulled into a conversation with DeMarius, Josh, and Sky.

"So what are your intentions with dating little Benny?" DeMarius raises one eyebrow in a weird way, which just makes me laugh.

"My intentions?" I giggle. "What do you mean?"

"You know, like, are you gonna hurt him?" Sky responds.

"No, of course not. I wouldn't wanna hurt him. I really like him."

"Would you say you love him?" Josh pries, leaning closer to me.

"I think it's a little bit early to fall in love. We've only been dating for a few weeks. But I really, really like Ben and I don't see any reason why we should break up."

"You think you'll be fine with a long distance relationship when we go on tour?" DeMarius adds.

"Long distance is really hard. I mean, my family lives in Texas and I know it's hard to get in touch with them at times. But I'm gonna try my very hardest to talk to him every day and to visit whenever I get the chance."

And as I shift a bit, I begin to notice how upset my stomach is. I steal a glance at the clock and see that it reads 12:03. Damn, we've been here for a really long time.

Thankfully, everyone starts to leave. I quickly kiss Ben goodbye- which earns a lot of whistling from the guys and Emma and Stephanie telling them to be quiet- and hug the girls goodbye.

I rush home, not having felt this sick in such a long time.

As I walk towards my bedroom from the front door, I begin to strip off my shoes and jewelry, leaving a trail towards my room. I tie back my hair into a messy bun, fearing the absolute worst.

And of course, my nightmares have to come true. Within just a few minutes, I'm hunched over the toilet, emptying my stomach.

I never eat. And if I do eat, I don't eat a lot at all. So downing two pieces of pizza like nothing is off about me was too much for my body to handle. Of course I have to get sick. Of course.

I wind up needing to call out of my show the next day, just because I was still so sick.

I'm just going to be like this for the rest of my life.