(Gureshin) I wasn't made for him. He was made for me

His Touch ~ 11

≪ Shinya's P.O.V ≫

I woke up for a third time and I knew I couldn't fall asleep. The only person I could think of was Guren. All I felt at the pool yesterday was happiness. It surprised me the most when he picked me up in his strong arms. At that moment, I felt so safe, almost as if nothing could hurt me. I wanted to stay with him forever.

I opened my eyes and stared up at the pitch black ceiling. I hugged the blanket closer to my chest. It felt so lonely laying there in the dark. I felt restless and threw off my covers. The cold hit my body as I pulled my legs from the bed and set my feet down on the cold, wooden floors. I walked over to my bedroom door and grabbed the jacket that was hanging on the hanger. I quickly put my jacket on and pushed the door opened. 

It made a loud creaking sound which made my heart race faster. My feet echoed in the hall as I padded along the floor. The whole house was pitch black so I needed to use my hands to guide me through the maze of rooms. I arrived at the front of the room where the door was. My hands were shivering as I turned the knob. Fortunately it wasn't locked as I thought it would be.

I took a deep breath. My heart rate was going up as my hand slowly turned the knob. My hand was shaking but I let myself inside. The room was a pitch black, I could hardly see.A shiver went up my spine. 

I walked over to the bed lying in the middle of the room. I could see a figure sleeping in the middle of the bed. A warm feeling spread through my chest as I knelt down on the bed. The figure suddenly moved, I jumped awkwardly hoping he wouldn't wake. 

"Er, Guren?" I whispered, barely hearing my voice. I sighed in relief when Guren didn't answer. I heard him groan and move positions. 

Without a second thought, I lay down next to Guren on the mattress. It felt soft and warm. I curled up next to Guren and pulled the blanket over my body. I could smell Guren everywhere. It was a sweet scent. It reminded me of honey and the soft scent of roses. My body began to relax and I felt sleep take over my body. 

~

The next morning I woke up with somebody's arms around me. I instantly blushed. I looked over and saw that it was Guren. His eyes were closed and his lips were slightly ajar. He was breathing lightly. I had never seen such a beautiful sighed. How could a human being be so perfect? I was about to touch his face, but suddenly his eyes fluttered open. His purple eyes gazed back at mine, and he smirked. 

"Did you miss me that much last night?" His voice was playful, but I felt my face turn a brighter red. 

"No! I-I didn't m-miss you! I w-was just c-cold last night," I couldn't seem to look him in the eye. "Yeah, c-cold." 

Before I could utter another word, his lips were on mine. My eyes widened. I couldn't seem to move, but I didn't kiss him back either. My whole body was frozen and my heart was beating faster then ever before. I quickly pulled away and crawled away form his grasp. I scrambled out of the bed and left the room, slamming the door behind me. I sprinted down the hall, to the left and back to where my room was. 

"N-no, t-that didn't happen.. Guren doesn't l-love me. He l-loves Mahiru...." I gasped for air, trying to believe my own words. They were all lies. The butterflies in my stomach were all fluttering frantically. 

What was I thinking? Going into Guren Ichinose's bedroom? What was I thinking? Falling asleep in his bed? Letting him hold me? Letting him kiss me? And it felt so good too....

I heard a knock on my door. I froze knowing who it was. 

"G-guren leave me alone!" I squeaked. 

"Shinya, I didn't mean to startle you. I'm sorry. Can I please come in?" He asked with a plea in his voice. 

I wanted to punch him so badly. But at the same time I wanted to kiss him back too. My feelings for Guren were all jumbled up in a messed up ball. I couldn't like a guy who had betrayed me, but he was so nice to me too. Damn it! I wanted him. Without thinking, I rushed to the door and opened it. 

Guren was staring back at me. His hair was all messy, but it was so perfect at the same time. He was wearing his white boxers and a grey shirt. He had the same apologetic face he had had back when I had first come to his house. My eyes were on his lips. 

"Guren I-" 

I couldn't finish my sentence. His lips were on mine again and he was kissing me. Fireworks exploded in my mind and all I could do was kiss him back. Soon his hand was in my hair and the other was creeping up inside my shirt and on my stomach. 

I felt his tongue touching mine as he kissed me aggressively. My eyes were closed, but I didn't push him away. He pushed me down onto the bed. My head hit the soft pillow and I winced. The atmosphere was warm and fuzzy. Guren finally pulled away from the kiss. We were both breathing hard. 

"Guren, I don't think I'm ready for t-this." I trembled.His body was practically on top of me. "I've never done it before." 

He looked at me with eyes full of hunger and lust. I knew what he wanted. He wanted to gobble me up until nothing was left. He wanted to touch my body and add it to his collection. I was just another thing to nibble on, wasn't I?

"Guren, please get off me. I can't..." I looked away from his gaze and off to his side. His hand on my stomach felt stranger-like and I flinched when I felt his fingertips. I shut my eyes, squeezing them tight, just waiting for a reaction. 

When I opened my eyes again, the feeling of his fingertips was gone and he had left. My heart beat slowly went down again. I got what I wanted, but something in me felt empty. I was empty. 

****

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Authors Note:

Back from the dead...

I guess I don't have an excuse...

I apologize for the wait my friends...

 -Maya Nordin