New York City

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by -algia

by -algia

New York city, centre of the universe, times are shitty but I'm pretty sure they can't get worse.

Angel was right, times are shitty but she was wrong to think they can't get worse. That came back an bite her in the bum. If you've watched RENT then you understand what I'm talking about. Being on the edge of heaven I'm allowed to travel down. Every once in a while I'll head down and talk to the un-judged. I like helping them up, it's fun. The great thing about being dead is that I can get into Broadway for free, and I get front row seats.

I decided to go down early in the morning to see who the new guys are going to be, they're all here for a new shot at life. They honestly would have a better chance getting an acting job in LA.

I sit down on my favourite roof top and plug my earphones in. Yes in heaven you get a phone, you keep all of your past possessions, well a replica. I sat with my feet dangling off the edge. It started to snow. I honestly love my wings because they keep me extremely warm in this sort of weather. I hit shuffle and 'you' by Jill Baylon comes on, I was told about this song by Roman. She was singing it on the roof and I listened. That was sort of the way it went. She would sing and I would sit on the roof with her and listen. It was like a mini concert and I loved it. It's just cold enough to listen to the song without it being to happy. I hear the roof top door open and I turn around, it was her.

Roman is a mortal girl from Australia, she moved here last year just 5 months after I had died. We hang out a lot. Well I follow her around sometimes, it's interesting. No, it's not creepy. Think of it like I'm her Shinigami but she can't see me at all cause I haven't revealed. She's a singer and actor and is amazing at it. I've been keeping an eye on her for the time she's been here, but I don't go to school. I hated that place and I do not want to go back. She's a Harry Potter fan too. A Gryffindor to be exact. And it's none of your business if I like her or not.

She was sometimes happy and smiling and when she did she looked beautiful but most days her face rested in a frown. Today was slightly different, she was crying. I was confused because I had never seen her cry. Even though I couldn't talk to her and she couldn't see me I sat next to her and placed my wing around her. It was cold outside and I didn't want her to freeze. She started to breathe heavily and tears rolled down her cheeks in small droplets. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but she couldn't see me.

"I want to go back to Australia. They can't say those things to me," her voice was extremely shaky. I hugged her, she couldn't feel it or maybe she could because she started to calm down.

she tilted her head up and whispered, "I'm not one to believe in god, let alone angels. I actually don't believe at all but god. If you are real... can you help me out. I'm sick of being bullied, I'm sick of scratching, I'm sick of it all."

Scratching? What did she mean by that?

She curled up in a ball and started to cry again. I bent down in front of her. She wasn't wearing a jacket so I could see her arms clearly. There are no cut marks which is a relief, but what did she mean by scratching? Then it happened. She started to scratch her arms, only for a few seconds but long enough for it to make sense. I looked at her arms again and I saw, her arms were red raw. In some spots they were bleeding. She was shivering, that and crying did not mix.

Looking at her made me cry as well. Sadly I understood why she was doing it. I was crying also because this girl is broken and I had no idea. I know what broken looks like, how didn't I see it? Who knew that a girl like this hid behind a smile. I wanted to call out and tell her I was here but, even if it was a matter of life or death I wasn't allowed to. I'd be kicked out of heaven and be forced to be a judged on Earth. I wouldn't be sent to hell but I would be forced to live on Earth unseen and unheard. Was that a risk that I was willing to take for this girl? Maybe it was.

I didn't talk though. I stood with her and 'hugged' her until she had fully calmed down. It was like she knew that I was there because she was hugging back slightly. I knew that I hadn't revealed myself. How was this happening? I didn't care in that moment. I put my wing around her for warmth. The snow got heavier and she eventually went inside for a hot drink, and I went home. Before she left I whispered, "See you tomorrow."

"Thank you." she said and with that went inside. I bolted into the sky and back home freaking out.

She responded? She knows I exist? oh god.