To Be Married Men

The Man Part I

"I've really fucked myself over this time," Izaya muttered. He wasn't going to blame others for this. Nope. This was purely his fault. He shouldn't have spent that long trying to annoy the shit out of someone. What was he expecting? A 'thank you' card and some chocolates? He really needs to stop doing things like this, but he won't. He can't. It's practically written in his DNA. Poor Izaya.

His vision was blurry and his pain was excruciating. Sure, it sucked, but what was he supposed to do about it? Nothing. That's what. The pain distracted him so much he didn't bother paying attention to his surroundings. What was the point? In any case, when that vending machine came at him he almost jumped for joy. Was this the day he'd die? That would be fun. Izaya has always pondered what happens to people after death. The male fell to the ground and his ability to see left him completely. He could hear the sound of footsteps getting closer. Shizuo? No. Why would it be Shizuo? Didn't he want Izaya dead? Well, yes and no. But Izaya didn't know that. He just thought his day had come. 

Imagine his surprise when he woke up with his medical needs fully tended to whilst lying on a couch in Shinra's apartment. Pain killers active. Bandages in place. There was one small problem: only his external wounds were taken care of. There was still the issue of his internal ones. Not to mention his mental ones. 

"Good to see that you're awake," Shinra said, "now I can kill you myself," he frowned. "What did I tell you about your behavior? You know of your condition and you still act like a douche-bag! Have you even stepped into a hospital recently?"

Izaya smiled in response. Obviously his answer was 'no.' Why should he go to the hospital? What were they going to do? They couldn't stop his will to die. No. Izaya wasn't going to allow his first chance at death to leave him. He was going to drag it out. He was going to die, because that was the only human thing he was capable of. Killing himself would be too easy. Dying in an accident would be too boring. This was the perfect death to him. But death hadn't greeted him yet. That's what disappointed him the most. 

The information broker jumped when Shizuo spoke. He hadn't seen him there and was half tempted to ask why the blonde was there to begin with. Izaya didn't remember much from earlier in the day. He only remembered that he had been a dick to some really unhappy individuals and in turn got the life kicked out of him. Yep. Fun times. For all he knew he had been brought to Shinra by a stranger who found him lying in the street. Not that such a thing was possible...but still...the point remains...Izaya is clueless right now.

"What can a hospital do that you can't?" Shizuo asked. Right. Izaya kept forgetting that only a few people knew about his condition. He wasn't about to let Shinra tell his worst enemy about it.

"Don't you know? Izaya ha-"

"Has the incurable ability to fuck with the wrong people," Izaya said, completing Shinra's statement. Shinra frowned, not understanding why the raven-head wouldn't want Shizuo to know. If the fake bartender found out, the possibility that he would stop throwing vending machines at Izaya increased. There was also the possibility that he might just throw more. Izaya wasn't going to take that chance. And, he certainly wasn't going to allow anyone to think he was weak just because he was sick. That included Shizuo most of all. 

Shinra sighed, "Shizuo, can you just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid until his wounds are fully healed?"

"You want him to monitor me? I am a grown-ass man I can take care of myself," Izaya grumbled, crossing his arms. Shinra ignored him and continued to stare at Shizuo for an answer. Shizuo sighed, he didn't really want to but he would regardless. It was clear to him that Izaya had visited Shinra far too much lately and it was getting on Shinra's nerves. Since it was partially Shizuo's fault for this visitation he decided to accept.