You and Me

Worth the pain

(So this is basically an alternative to Actually where you never move away)
(Some parts of this is based off of real events)

(8 years old)

"Um... I'm kinda embarrassed that I never asked, but, uh, what's your name?" You laughed slightly, rubbing the back of your neck.

We were playing at your house when that sudden realization hit you. You were bringing me to your backyard when you noticed that you didn't have a name to put to my face.

"It's Jane, sorry I never told you," I laughed. You smiled, and grabbed my hand, leading me to the shade of the tree in your backyard. (I've always wanted a tree in the yard)

(Time skip)

'Hey, I really need to talk to you'
'Meet in the regular place'
'2:30?'

I read the texts as they came in and, even though I promised myself that today would be for me, my mom-friend-override immediately took over and everything was canceled.

'See you then' I texted back.

I put my phone in my pocket and looked at the time. It was barely 2:00 and I lived three minutes away from our spot so naturally I left immediately and got there as fast as possible.

I spent nearly half an hour going from pacing and worrying, sitting and worrying, leaning and worrying, checking my messages every three seconds and worrying, I think you get it.

As soon as you showed up I was by your side.

"Do you want, or need hugs?" I asked immediately.

You simply nodded. You looked kinda upset but not borderline depressed which calmed me down a bit.

I wrapped my arms around you and stood like that until I felt awkward, then until you wanted out.

We walked over to a bench and sat down and I let you rant about your problems, giving you hugs and reassuring smiles, giving you the best advise I could, then trying desperatly to make you smile, even though you were already smiling.

"Hey, you remember that text you sent me?" You asked.

"I've sent you a lot of texts, you'll have to be more specific babe," I said jokingly. You laughed slightly, thinking nothing of it, after all I called basically everyone babe, more often when they couldn't hear me, but still.

"When you were jokingly pretending to be a stalker and I asked you to stop, then you responded with, 'I'll stop once the world stops being so cruel, I promise'."

"Oh yeah," you saw that as a joke?

"Well, don't. I love having you here. You're like, the best friend ever."

Something broke...
I think it was my heart...

I looked down, pretendinng to be embarrassed, when in reality I was hiding my tears.

"Aww, stop it."

Please.

My prayers were answered when your phone buzzed. I looked up, barely able to hold back tears, but my acting was fairly good so I would get away just as easily as always.

"I've gotta go, see ya!" You said happily, leaving with a smile on your face.

Right after I was sure you were gone I let the tears slide down my face, my breath getting shaky.

I walked home and grabbed my journal and a pencil and wrote down everything that I was thinking.

'I hope the world doesn't stop being so cruel
It's horrible I know but...
I made a promise
A promise to someone I love more than anything in the world
I told (her/him/them)
'I'll leave you alone once the world stops being so cruel. I promise'
I live for (her/him/them)
I would die for (her/him/them)
I'd do anything for (her/him/them)
I'd even know that (she/he/they) (doesn't/don't) love me
I'd know that (she/he/they) love(s) someone else
And that (she'd/he'd/they'd) never love me back
Never
And it hurts to know that
But it's worth every ounce of pain to just be close to (her/him/them) and to be able to make sure (she's/he's/they're) okay, and to be able to comfort (her/him/them) and take care of (her/him/them)
The person (she/he/they) love(s) hurt her and I just want to be there for (her/him/them)
I will be there for (her/him/them)
I'll always be here for (her/him/them)
Because I love (her/him/them)
And (she's/he's/they're) worth the pain
...
I'd do anything for you...
Even dissapear from your life
I'd probably not be able to handle the pain but...
You're worth it
Just to see you smile
It's worth every bit of pain'

With that I closed the journal and set it on my desk, letting out a shaky sigh and sitting on my bed.

I pulled a blanket over me and started crying for real as songs started playing through my mind and my heart broke even more.

But you are with the pain.

(The text is real, and so is the pretending to be a stalker XD It's a joke. It's also the same as real life because that's my text and I'm the 'stalker')