Belle's Bakery

Chapter 8- Back pain and confessions

Monique woke up with serious back pain and confusion. She discovered that she was sitting in a hard chair with a soft blanket lying over her. A warm hand clutched her's and she looked at it in surprise. The long fingers were entwined with her small, slender ones. She followed the hand back up to look at the owner's face. It was Arun smiling gently, looking at her through half closed lids. The memories came flooding back to her. She had agreed to stay with him and must have fallen asleep. A nurse probably gave her the blanket. 

She let out a soft laugh. His black, usually neat hair, had become wavy and tousled as he slept. He raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"

"You've got bedhead" she told him, laughing as he tried to tame it  "it's kind of cute." Her eyes widened and a blush rose to her cheeks. He coughed awkwardly. Oh well done Monique, she thought, you'veembarrassed yourself and made him feel awkward. What did you say that for? You haven't known him long anyway. "Sorry" she whispered, looking at the floor.He gave a fake cheery smile in response. 

" You should get to leave today, after you've had those tests"

"Yeah, uh look... I was going to tell you something a few days ago wasn't I?"

"I think so, why?"

"I'm going to tell you what it was. Please don't interrupt me, it's hard to talk about" She shook her head to say she wouldn't. He sighed. " I know we've only known each other a few days but they've honestly been the best few days of my life. You're amazing, I'very never had a friend like you. I appreciate what you'very days one for me so far. So I think you deserve to know. When I first arrived, they looked at my physical injuries and days one I'd their best to heal those but also asked me about my mental health. They bought in a therapist, a woman called Jane and she let me talk about my life. She relayed what I'd told her back to the doctors and nurses. They diagnosed me with..." he paused checking she was still listening. She was. "Depression, generalised anxiety disorder and social phobia. I live in constant fear that they will find me and attack me. I hate social situations and speaking in front of everyone for fear of being laughed at and bullied. I can barely done anything because of them. I wish they'd die." 

"Is that... Is that why you're here?" She hesitated,  she knew that not all people who were depressed wished to commit suicide but it seemed to be the case for Arun"

"Yes. It's also why I've got these" He lifted his arm revealing the thin, jagged, angry cuts littered along it. She couldn't help but imagine the pain and suffering he'd been through to want to do harm to himself. She felt tears rising to her eyes but blinked them back. What right did she have to feel like this? As she'd told herself many times before, she hardly knew him. Monique reached out to them but stopped when he flinched. An apology left her lips. 

Her eyes met his and she saw vulnerability amongst their hazel colour. Together it was teamed with a softness, conveying sadness but in an instant they hardened and an as yet uncharacteristic look of anger overcame them. "Don't apologise. " he said sharply "It isn't your fault." She said nothing. Eventually he returned to normal, looking guilty and regretful. "I'm sorry Mon, I shouldn't have said that. It's true though, it isn't your fault. You shouldn't apologise for their mistakes. I know they never will." His voice became soothing. He placed his hand on her arm in comfort. She looked up

"They should. They should be forced to apologise, ruining your life like they have. Even an apology isn't enough to solve it. You nearly died for God's sake!" Her voice rose. 

"I know but I didn't because of you." She didn't calm down.

"What if no one's there though. Then what will happen" 

"I'll die. No one will miss me" 

" Don't say that. You know people will. Your family, friends..." Me 

"What friends?" He laughed bitterly "I don't have any"

"How about me? I'm your friend aren't I?" 

"Of course you are Mon but you're the only one." 

"Then we'll find you some more"

"We can't, everyone hates me. I'm a loser. " 

"No you're not." She said firmly. "If you have any hope of being cured you've got to get rid of that mentality. I can't do it for you. You've got to help yourself too. Plus, I don't know anything about depression or anxiety. "

"I know." He said "That's why... Why I think I should get some help. Maybe I'll ask Jane to be my full time therapist. "

"That sounds like a good idea. Look, I know I said I know nothing about depression and anxiety, that's true but if you ever need to talk to someone then I'm here. It's probably better to go to a professional but if you don't feel like it then remember my offer. Anyway, I've got to go. Luckily, I think they're here for your tests too. I'll see you later. "

"Thanks Monique. For understanding. See you later. "

Author's note: Hello everyone, thank you for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Please vote and comment if you did. If you have any advice on writing depression and anxiety without romanticising or experience the conditions yourself please comment or PM me as I appreciate your help. Thank you again. Bye :D