Old Man Humphrey ✧ lumax

1

"Hey, Mr. Humphrey. It's me, Max Mayfield-Hargrove. We moved here two months ago. And, uh, my. . .my mother. . .she. . ."

"Sorry, miss. Mr. Humphrey is not here."

"Wait, who's this?"

"Nobody. I just work for Mr. H. Who are you?"

"I'm Max. Weren't you listening to me?"

"Not really, no."

"Never mind. Anyway, can I talk to Mr. Humphrey?"

"He's not here."

"When's he coming back?"

"Should be soon. Do you want me to deliver the message?"

"No. For all I know, you might be a stalker."

"Me? What? That's impossible."

"Who the hell are you?"

"You should've asked that before we even began this conversation."

"Screw you--"

". . .Lucas. You're welcome, I just finished your sentence."

"Just tell him to call us back. And tell him it's Max."

"I'm not your secretary."

"Well, you are now."

"I gotta go hang up, the lawn's not mowing itself."

". . .okay."

"I'll tell him, okay? Chill. Geez."