The Beauty Of Life

~ Chapter Five ~

So many years of education yet nobody taught us how to love ourselves.

Sadly, every teenage girl hates her body and wears layers of make up to hide their natural beauty. Why? Because they want to be perfect as guys her age describe. Curvy, long lashes, full up red lips, blue eyes, long blonde hair and flat stomach which is ridiculously stupid; the truth is, in my vision I see everyone is perfect their own way.

Don't do that. Don't wish you were in another skin, that you were another person; someone prettier, someone thinner, someone with lighter skin or darker skin. You are you. Nothing else can be more special than your individuality. You is scared, you is one-of-a-kind, you is you. No one can be you. Love who you are and the world will love you back just the way you are.

If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that. If you think a girl is pretty just tell her, "Hey, you look very pretty". It's just that simple. It can make her whole day and increase her self esteem.

The thing is, I never ever hated myself when I was younger. I never cared about the way I dressed or how I tie my hair or the fact that I'm on a wheelchair. I've never seen it as a disability until beginning of this year.

When P and many others treated me like shit till I hated everything in me I knew then that they're not my true friends. The fact that I stood back up without them really effecting my life anymore made me much stronger than I can ever imagine.

They made me believe I wasn't good enough even though I'm pretty sure I am. I am proud of who I am nowadays.

Maybe P isn't a bad person, maybe she's treating me the way she's treating me because she doesn't like me or get comfortable around me. Maybe she's nice to other people, I can never know. I won't judge her but I can never forget the happy memories we've had and how much she stabbed me in the back. It was heart wreaking how much I gave my time, energy and love to someone just to take nothing in return. Friendship is all about giving and taking but they took everything without making sure to give me a single thing.

I'm a little different than P though, even if people treated me like shit or I don't like some people I treat them nicely. I just can't treat them the same way they treat me, I'm just not like that.

I was broken but I got back up and that's what's important at the end of the day.

The biggest lesson I've learned this year is probably not to give so much of yourself to people who will not do the same for you.

The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your flaws, mistakes, and weaknesses and still thinks you're completely amazing. Luckily I have found them.

Actually N, X, Y and Z are probably the best thing that ever happened in my life. I can never ever forget the ways they tried to brush off the sadness I felt, or how to make me smile after I've had a breakdown or even solve most of my problems. I'm really thankful for having them. That's when I realized what a true friend was. Someone who would always love you - the imperfect you, the confused you, the wrong you - because that is what friends are supposed to do.

By ninth grade, you'll understand that not everyone is your true friend. You'll get to know the real keepers, you'll get to know who truly loves you for who you are. You'll get to decide who you'll take with you to your journey of life ahead.

One of the most toxic things I've ever done is ignore the bad in someone just because I love them. Love makes someone blind which destroys them at the end.

Acting like you don't care is not letting go. It's just like building up anger inside you and trying to ignore the fact of what's happening right in front of you. I've done that in the six months I was hurting, I kept acting like I never cared they existed but deep down I was hurting and I wished I could stab them just the way they did stab me in the back.

The problem is I'm never like that. If someone kept hurting me for a year I won't say a word but when they do just one little thing that makes me happy, I forget all about the pain they caused me during that year.

I won't like hurting someone's feelings even though they've hurt mine, I'm not like that.

Maybe I'll try to act cold, just give little short answers. Maybe life would be much easier if I stopped caring what they think of me. Good thing I stopped caring about their opinion.

I've learnt this year that the lesson will keep on repeating itself till you learn from it and I have finally learnt my lesson. I even recall that time when J, have been always using me for everything until I had no more to give. Then P kept using me as well, then after a short while many others kept using me until I said it was enough. I broke free and finally I've started to say no.

I guess you're a little confused of who's J? I guess you'll have to find out later on!

I've learnt a lot this year. I've learned that things don't always turn out the way you planned it, or the way you think they should. I've learned that there are things that can go wrong that don't always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I've learned that some broken things stay broken. I've learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you right there beside you.

{ What is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over and still lives. }

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Author's Note: Heyy guys! How's it going? I've finally beat writer's block and went back to writing! What do you think so far? Hope you're enjoying it! Make sure to check out the Handicapped Awareness video up there which I made with a friend of mine Ahmed El Fares! Sorry it's in Arabic but our target audience are in egypt lol but here's the translation and sorry it's not really clear. The translation is made by Youmna Labib thanks to her! Hope you're enjoying it so far, please give me your opinions in the comments! Thank you guys!

Special dedication to:
Youmna Labib (Translator)
Ahmed ElFares (Director)
N,X,Y and Z for always supporting me all the way! Love you a lot guys!❤️

Love you all,
Nadia xxx