Behind Closed Doors

Entries Part 2

Ally's Entry

The counselor suggested I write my feelings out to control myself. As much as it seems like the cliché stereotypical high school girl, it may help.

I'm struggling.

But I will still pray.

Pray to see another day.

Pray to open my eyes and see my family next to me. My girls next to me. Hopefully, my future husband and kids next to me.

However, everyday a negative thought overcomes my emotions.

It is highly unlikely that in 2025, I will be able to say, "Yeah, marrying him was the best thing I've ever done."

Nor will I be able to say, "Yeah, my two little girls are the light of my life."

I pray and I pray, but I know someone has to keep it realistic. And that someone is going to be me.

I don't wish to die. I want to be able to stand at the Grammys with my girls and smile at our accomplishments.

Unfortunately, life has a silly way of screwing us over.

Never did I ever imagine that I, Ally Brooke Hernandez will start having to write her will.

I learned that life is filled with unexpected surprises.

Some better than others.

But I never liked surprises anyways.

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Normani's Entry

I believe that this is stupid. However, Lauren warned me that they'd be checking if something was written in here.

The others are probably choosing to write about their own problems, but I know better. Our journal entry will probably be on Fox 5 within the next couple of weeks.

That's how this industry works.

It amazes me how ruthless they can be.

I've always wanted to pull out that stick that is stuck up their ass until I realized that it was all about money.

Money makes the world go round, right?

They eat their money and spend it on a Bugatti or a Rolex and don't even think twice about those who are actually struggling. Those who need help.

If I even had the money that I could spend so freely I would help my family and donate the rest to charity.

But they don't think about that.

They could give two fucks about the children who lie on the street without a home or food begging for mercy.

They could care less about the adults who have to work their ass off and see nothing at the end.

They could care less about the thousands of innocent lives being taken away by some crazy.

They don't think about that. They only think about themselves. But I won't always tolerate them.

This AINT what my man Martin fought for. I will not allow us to go down like that.

Not my community.

Not my fellow African Americans.

Not my fellow women.

Not my fellow country.

And definitely not my fellow people.

So you know what management?

SCREW YOU!

- Peace out
A very angry Mani

P.S Will close the door next time you try to masturbate to our incredibly amazing choreography and outfits, you perv! Hell Yeah I called you out on it.

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Dinah's Entry

Everyone seems to love the journal, but I'm still stuck.

I can't figure out what to write about.

I'd rather not discuss that sad parts.

I'm tired of crying.

I'm tired of pitying myself.

I'm tired of hearing the voices in my head.

I want it all to go away.

I found a way to please my hunger.

The soft touch of sharp edge helped me. It's in a hidden spot of course.

I'm only writing this in here hoping to one day be able to burn this book.

To one day look at this book and say, I got over you.

To one day sing Miss Movin' On Again.

To finally look my demons in the eye as I watch them fall before me.

To one day say, Bye Bitch.

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Blast To The Future

Ally's Entry

It's been a while since I've written in here. More like a year. Maybe more.

However, I couldn't resist.

Everything I look at reminds me of her. Her scent, her playfulness, her mischievous smile. Everything.

She was like a sister to me. I spent years with her building up our walls and confidence to become the best and now she's gone.

I always thought I'd be the first to go. As a matter of fact, we all did.

But like I said, life has a funny way of surprising you.

Rest In Peace my best friend and my sister.

We miss you and we will always love you.