Never Leave

2

Or a lot of screwing up.

Carmilla downed her sixth shot, sliding the glass back across the counter to replace with another. She cheered with the crowd around her, lifting the shot in the air before tossing her head back. The burn in her throat felt like something. She needed to feel something tonight of all nights. She didn't want to think about death or blood, of gods or mothers, of pits or caskets. She just wanted to feel. She never knew how it felt to put her fingers against something and feel nothing until the last thing she felt was abnormally cold instead of the warmth she was used to.

She'd visited Laura's grave before she came to the bar, putting a fresh bouquet of flowers on the grass. There were more flowers there with a few stuffed animals and a white candle. She gave a small smile, glad to know that others had come again this year. It looked like more than the last year. Frowning, she shook the thought way, not wanting to remember how she knew that. Placing her lips to the newly cleaned gravestone- courtesy of Sherman and Perry she was sure- she left the cemetery to drown her sorrows in tequila. A lot of tequila.

"WHOOOO!" She threw another shot down her throat, clapping as the girl drunkenly singing karaoke finished her song. What she was singing, Carmilla was sure even she didn't know. Her feet gave as she stepped off the stage. Her friend, clearly the designated driver, caught her and drug her off towards the bathroom. Maybe Carmilla should've had a designated driver. Oops.

"Who's next?" The DJ called from his booth, a beat playing as he searched the faces from his angle.

"WHOO!" Carmilla cheered again, throwing a hand up in the air.

"Yo, we got a new one! Give her room! Let her up here!" He motioned for the crowd to separate.

Carmilla hadn't tried to be next. She had no intention of going up there. She just wanted to get drunk and lose herself in the music.

So, screwing up.

A hand pushed her gently closer into the large group of people cheering for her. Drunk slurs of motivation and support came from unfamiliar faces in every direction.

Eh...why not?

Stepping onto the stage, she stood in front of the microphone and told the DJ to give her number 0631. It meant something. It had substance. It was the reason she was here. As the music began, the noises of the bar began to quiet down. It was only when she opened her mouth that everything came to a standstill.

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing

Watch you smile while you are sleeping

While you're far away and dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

I could stay lost in this moment forever

Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep cause I'd miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating

And I'm wondering what you're dreaming

Wondering if it's me you're seeing...

As soon as she sang the words, tears pricked at her eyes as she knew exactly who she was singing to. Singing for. Needing it to be known that she was loved, and she was missed. She hoped that Laura could hear her, wherever she was. There were glasses, flasks, hands, phones, and lighters waving in the air as Carmilla sang her own rendition of the ever-popular song. Once it was over, there was a boom of clapping hands and drunk shouting at the performance.

Wiping at her tears, Carmilla made her way off the stage, "I need a drink."

********

"How long do I have to stay this time?" She groaned, starting the process to getting her out of the house tonight.

"Until I say you may leave. Don't tempt me. I can still hurt you, Hollis." Mattie huffed, not looking away from her phone.

"Well that'd be counterproductive seeing as you saved me," Laura crossed her arms, sitting in the corner of the couch grumpily before sinking down with pleading eyes, "Come on, Mattie! I've been stuck in this house for days! Besides, there's a pride parade going on soon. Who'd want to miss that?"

"Those who are supposed to be dead," Mattie shot back, briefly peering up towards the front wall in thought, "Although, that would give me a chance to tease the masses."

"Wow, being human has not changed you," Laura snorted, wondering if the younger sister of her savior had changed at all. Shaking the thought, she whined again, "Mattie! You said it yourself, nobody that knows me is still here. What could it hurt? You let me go out before."

Laura had been devastated to learn that everyone had left Silas. Laf and Perry. Kirsch and Danny. Her dad. Carmilla. Even Mel. Mattie reassured her that it was purely coincidental. New jobs. New schools. The inability to deal with her death. The inability to stay in this town another second. She understood. Didn't mean it didn't hurt.

"Laura," Mattie sighed, "It's dangerous. Not tonight."

"Why? Why not tonight," Laura stood, pacing. Mattie had kept her on a tight leash for the past two years since she pulled her from the ground. She usually was able to roam certain parts of the city with Mattie if she was hidden. But this was the second time, for the second year, that Mattie refused to let her out, "What's so special about today?"

Mattie sighed, not wanting to get into it with Laura. Being human and having feelings truly made her sick. She knew the pain Laura was feeling, but she was doing what was best for her. But it wouldn't be that hard to watch out for her if she was actually there. Plus, she had been cooped up in the house as well, keeping Laura in. Sighing, she caved.

"Okay, fine. Get dressed. We leave in an hour. Don't keep me waiting darling." She turned for her room to find a suitable outfit for tonight's events.

"Sweet!" Laura cheered.

Mission 1 complete.