My Hope 「J.Hoseok」

<This Cruel World>

This world is so full of hatred and not enough love.
We tend to only think of ourselves and not others.
Because of that we became greedy of this so called life.

This life we are given is to be taken away by time.
This time we are given is to be taken away by us.

We are spending so much time hoping for something instead of doing it.
I spend my whole entire life hoping for good times but nothing good ever comes out of it.

I lost my parents because I hoped that they would live. I lost my brother because I hope that he would not die. I lost my friends because I hoped they could come back to me.

I lost everything because I hoped every single time instead of not doing something.

If I didn't just hope for my parents to live I would've helped them by getting medicine.
If I didn't just hope for my brother to die I would've died for him.
If I didn't just hope for my friends to come back to me I would've done everything I could to get them back.
But guess what...yeah you're right I didn't..I just hoped.

I live with people who takes care of me.
Those people are my grandparents they are they only ones I have.

I've lost hope because of how many people I lost.
Sometimes I wanna punish myself by taking my own life away. But I can't because I would hurt my grandparents. They love me so much that they don't ever wanna lose me.

But sometimes I wonder, what if I lose them first. That would add up to the number of people that I lost.

I stopped hoping. Until he came into my life unexpectedly.